I was walking back from the grocery store yesterday, and decided not to check any of my social media.
As a congenital Pollyanna, I do not think social media is “bad.” Nor do I feel the world is going to hell in a handbasket; I don’t wax nostalgic for a pre-machine era. But I do think we’re going to have to manage the seduction of the virtual exactly as we must every other overabundance technology has created.
Consider food. We’re built to search for and store calories. We’ve automated the search, we have to manage our storing. Consider the combustion engine. We’re built to move around. We’ve automated the moving, we’ve had to invent “exercise.”
Consider community. Human beings need each other. Help, recognition, nods of “Mmmmhmmm.” Expressions of horror, grief, and sympathy. It’s kind of beautiful, our need for each other.
Now ready access to our comrades’ voices has been automated. These automated voices are neither bad nor pretend. If we find our need for each other beautiful, then so is social media. But, most likely, we’re going to have to regulate ourselves against an obesity of contact. Other people’s gazes are addictive, their “likes,” and “shares,” and comments, even more so.
As I walked back along the train tracks, under some evergreens, light filtering through leaves, I imagined a futuristic movie, as one does. I thought we’d say, in that movie, “I’m going in-world,” rather than, “offline.” “Let’s go in-world now, Lisa,” I thought.
I didn’t put technology away. I took some pictures with my phone, but I took them without connection to my online community. Otherwise known as My Camera Is Good Enough, Thank You So Much Instagram For Your Help, But Not Today.
I imagine resisting the virtual world will get harder and harder as time passes. Eating to avoid obesity is hard. Exercising to avoid falling into disrepair is hard.
I’d always rather think about what I’m going toward than what I’m denying myself. “Dang that’s a beautiful apple.” “Oh boy what a great triangle pose!” Hence, not unplugging, just going in.
Here’s a photo I happened across when I got home from my walk. Seemed appropriate.
That poor guy may never hear the end of what he missed, in-world. Have a wonderful weekend everyone.
35 Responses
Wow. What a great post. And that pic of the guy on the sailboat–good one!
@Laura Lewis, Thank you! And yes, the guy who took the photo wrote an article on Medium about how hectic his life has been since he published it. It encapsulates so much of how we are all feeling.
I “like” your post Lisa!
I don’t tweet but I do blog, am on Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram….it’s a lot I know and more than most of my peers…it is rather an addicting hobby isn’t it?
Food for thought today and that’s a wonderful image to go with your post!
And I “like” your online stuff too! <3
I like the idea of in-world.
Thank you.
I’ve had a mobile phone since the early 1990s because I worked in Silicon Valley, and because my ex-husband wanted both of use to have one. Most of the time I ignored mine or used it to call a restaurant or find a film time via a recording. I bought my first smart phone in late 2008, when Apple came out with the 3G. In 2009, during a period in my life when I was isolated, I began using Twitter as a way to introduce myself to a new technology. There was no thought on my part that I would find friendship and connection there, but I did. For a number of difficult years it was a pleasure to add the support of an online community that continues to become one-by-one, an in-world community, to my life and thoughts. A little over a year ago I began to want more time in the world without my phone. It is interesting to note how quickly, because of smart phone technology, we became expected to be 100% available to others, and to expect them to be 100% available to us. Last night I went to a candlelight yoga class with a friend. When I was leaving, I picked up my phone, stared at it, and set it back down. It felt dangerous to leave home without it. I thought to myself, “What if someone needs to reach me?” Then I realized that they would reach me when I arrived home in a couple of hours. After a gap, seeing people can be difficult because the contact requires showering and clothing and feeling emotionally sturdy—on the internet no one can tell you’re in bed and your hair is unwashed—but I find they are still the most satisfying relationships. (I’m wondering if that photo is photoshopped, it looks unreal. I checked online and read that the photographer assures that it’s real. It still looks off to me, but in any case the point it makes is a real one.)
@Katherine C. James, I’ve known you almost since the beginning on Twitter. I do think social media – as it has been for me – can be a way to find one’s voice and one’s way. And there is an adjustment, meeting those we’ve known online. As I’ve said, I’m a blurter, and I now warn people that I am more friendly and ebullient than I appear here. A kind way to put it. I am glad your relationships from online forums have been such a support. And you and I will meet, some day, I’m sure of it.
Going in-world. Great term, great concept.
@Mary anne, Thank you:).
I love the concept of going in-world. I resisted having a smartphone until a year ago, but I’ve been connected by computer for years. My colleagues and I started using the internet (then called bitnet) to collaborate with European colleagues in the mid-80’s. I used to have times when I was not plugged in, for example, on Amtrak. Now they have wireless on board so I’ve lost that quiet time.
@Marie, Thank you. I think that’s part of the issue – our enforced quiet times are being eaten up, so we have to create them ourselves.
@Marie, yes, I read the other day that the suite of rooms occupied by Seamus Heaney when he was at Harvard has been made into a quiet place for students to worK, to get away from the constant noise. Just reading the article brought me into a different mental space. The rooms are so peaceful, and there are wonderful Heaney poems on the walls. He retreated to these rooms when he needed quiet to write poetry.
Beautifully written, Lisa. I’ve been on an extended social media break since June except for the occasional photo, though those may happen every other month…in-world is definitely more interesting after being online so long. I find myself wondering more and more how necessary it is to share all of the amazing-ness of the in-world with total strangers, although I do miss the blog friends. Thanks for your thoughtful discussion about it.
xo Mary Jo
@Mary Jo, Thank you. I have come to feel that online friends are not strangers, although they are not the same as people in real life. It’s easier to relate to people online in many ways – so one can befriend a wider range.
My FB feed has been full of people who’ve lost a pet lately; one of them posted that she saw a woman texting while walking her dog, and how sad she felt that the woman was distracted from her pet when our time with our pets is so short.
I don’t have a pet so I’m not quite so tied up with pets and at first I thought, “oh Lord another pet person” but on second thought I came to appreciate what she was saying, and to think that it applies to more than just golden retrievers.
I enjoy social media and value the friends I’ve never met whose words reside in the friend portion of my brain, but they are never a good substitute for life in the flesh.
@RoseAG, They aren’t a good substitute for all of life in the flesh. I am not yet sure how much of a role the online will come to play in our lives as we settle into it. It will depend on where we all draw the lines, as a world community.
Such a beautiful and well thought out post. I think I’m pretty moderate in my use of all this technology, yet I know I could spend more time “in world” as well.
That photo is astounding – was it the catalyst for this thought provoking post?
@kathy, Thank you. I think you are more moderate, certainly, than I am. And no, I thought up the post first, found the photo right after. That happens sometimes, you know? One notices trends or patterns and then the best example shows up a little while later.
I’m over blogging, it’s too wordy, I’ve just joined instagram and that’s how I’ll keep in touch with folk now. I think Twitter is just more noise, I cannot cope with the onslaught of folk’s thoughts /writings in this age.
@Tabitha, Ha! So many opinions! Who are you on Instagram, or is it to be a private account? I, on the other hand, can’t participate in Instagram broadly because I get so overwhelmed by pictures. These “platforms” will eventually, I believe, become part of the infrastructure, and we will be able to set up our preferred modes of communication more individually.
Love this post, It comes back to that old issue of weighing what one is going toward doesn’t it? and weighting the benefits, which are all so personal. I’ll probably be one of the last people blogging, I know several people who have left for Instagram. But photos overwhelm and distract me. Words and details are my friends.
But I need to be in-world as well, and love that concept
@Mardel, So you and I have similar processing modes for information. Although I prefer words and the patterns implied by details, which might be what you mean anyway:).
Lisa, as usual you are always, always en pointe! Thoughts about technology haunt me because of my 3 impressionable children and the need to protect without denying them. I read a book called ‘Toxic Childhood’ years ago and the messages I took away from it remain – indeed have become more sharply in focus than ever as life unfolds with social media and a new home.
We still develop at a biological pace and it’s slow relatively. I totally identify with your *just* taking photos and being ‘in-world’ (that makes me think of the *off-world* of ‘Blade Runner’?).
One of my goals in this new house is to slow down. I have deliberately chosen not to have the tv (not worth watching at all!) connected and so far so good. When we are home, we are home, eating, playing, communicating and connected and together. Technology etc.. comes practically last. It has to.
@silkpathdiary, Sounds really lovely. You have lucky children. xox.
Nice photos :)
Maria V.
@M&MFASHIONBITES, Thank you:).
I met a friend for astonishingly good hot chocolate; we had a great time, and at the end she whipped out her phone to shoot our empty cups, to Instagram.
She then asked me if I had seen her photo of her spaghetti sauce on Facebook. I told her I do not spend time on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. I read personal e-mail and a few blogs and that seems like more than enough.
Did I sound like an old coot? Maybe, and damned if I am going to spend the limited hours of my life looking at people’s spaghetti sauce or empty cups.
Hahahaha! Put that way, I completely agree!
You’ve managed to perfectly articulate exactly what I’ve been feeling without being judgmental or self-righteous on the topic. Bravo!
Thank you very much.
Beautiful post, thank you. I find your thoughts on this subject very helpful. To choose/opt in to the healthy, rather than deny ourselves the wealth of choice. Rather like your style choices Lisa, refinement.
Thank you very much. I always do better getting myself to go towards something than in self-denial. And I appreciate the word refinement, enormously.
Yes, Yes, Yes. You said it so well. I have fun on the varios platforms but I’m not asobsessed as I used to be. Life got in the way and showed me I coul, nay had to be in world. But the take away from socia media is the friends I’ve made. Never would have met them without it. Perceptive and right on post.
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