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Three Things To Remember For A Reasonable Retail Customer, Or, Saturday Morning at 8:59am

Last November, on somewhat of a lark, I took a “holiday employee” position at a well-known home goods retailer. This Tuesday will be the last day; it’s inventory time. I have almost no idea what I will be doing, but I will find out. Which has been the template for my whole experience.

Why do it? I’d always been curious about this kind of work, I thought my extroverted self would enjoy being around a lot of people, and I figured I could sell their products pretty well. And it was doable, I only put in 16 hours/week, in 4 hour shifts.

Eyes, opened.

People, most of you probably knew this but retail is HARD. Heretowith, my manifesto:

  Three Things To Remember For A Reasonable Retail Customer

  1. The person helping you might be incredibly well-educated, they might not. They might be enjoying their work, they might not. They might need this job terribly, they might not. But no matter their situation, the way you treat them will have more impact on them then it will on you. You’re angry, mean, stubborn, dismissive, rude? They need to keep on working, you can leave and go eat pastry. You’re courteous, considerate, patient, even funny? You have now given them sustenance to continue.
    1. Special reminder. Retail workers face long, long days, especially around Christmas. The pay is not much. And to make it all even more special, they may have to show their own bags when they leave work, just to make sure they aren’t pilfering, and that might be mortifying. They might get scolded, in front of customers, which might be both mortifying and enraging.  They will have to keep on keeping on, even so. Just because you make more money than them you aren’t better.
  2. The advent of Internet shopping, and buying, and returning, has upended many major retailers.
    1. The person helping you on the sales floor quite simply may not know as much you do–you who spent last night online studying every single air fryer known to mankind, you who received an email from corporate headquarters giving you a special 20% off, you who bought something two years ago that you are now trying to match. But they want to help. Ask for that help, it might take longer than you hoped to get what you want, but they will try.
    2. The person at the cash register–the one you are asking if you can return that thing that your cousin in Oklahoma bought you, you know the one, which, yes it was more than 30 days ago, but he did buy it, and no you don’t have the receipt, but surely this big company cares about customer service don’t they wait I will NOW TALK LOUDLY–is watching the line of customers anxious to pay snake out of the store while trying to navigate old-fashioned, non-intuitive point-of-sales software, not to mention online returns software and the company website, all on a monitor and keyboard that’s old and unsuited to the task. It helps if you acknowledge the magnitude of yours requests.
  3. The American Christmas rush will intensify everything I’ve just said, about 100 times. I don’t think I’m exaggerating. Us holiday employees? We know nothing, Jon Snow. And winter is coming.* We may not get any pre-job training, it’s just like, hey, go, where? there. I wound up on the cash registers. Me, whose small motor functions are not the best, who never got very good at computerized numbers even in Excel, and whose short-term memory is no longer that of a 20-year old. All I brought to the job was a true enjoyment of other human beings, a moderate gift of gab, and a willingness, most of the time, to make mistakes.

I am sure I’m preaching to the choir. So for you who have been good customers, here’s a standing ovation. And it means a lot, since retail workers have been on their feet already, for hours and hours and hours.

Have a wonderful weekend. Love to all.

*Games of Thrones references thanks to I couldn’t help myself, as per usual

48 Responses

  1. All true! Thank you for writing—courtesy goes a long way.
    Also, staff in stores and libraries(I speak from experience in being a public service librarian and manager) are not there to be the brunt of your holiday shopping anger! Just because your credit card was refused doesn’t mean you can swear a blue and vulgar streak at the next service personnel you see.

    1. @laura, You’re welcome! Thank you for your work! And it’s true, venting your holiday anger feels worse to the person you’ve vented at than it feels good to you.

  2. Oh my, you really went for as n experience with that one. Since you brought it up, do you think my oven on the convection setting will suffice for an air fryer ? It seems like one more thing to clutter my countertops.

    1. @Roseg, I went for a new experience:). I have always loved new experiences. And I am guessing that unless your convection is strong and your oven is small, probably not. Also, I’m not the expert (only got 1 hour of appliance training) wouldn’t it get your oven really greasy? But if you have an Instant Pot they now offer a convection fan lid that might be the lowest overhead way to experiment.

  3. I worked at Macy’s over Christmas in 2006. Oh man. Yes, be nice to the clerks! And please do not show up at the register at ten minutes to midnight (with a midnight close) with an armful of clothes needing a price check and then get snotty because, “You’re paid by the hour, aren’t you?”

  4. As someone who worked several retail jobs between high school* and college, I’ve long believed that *everyone* should have to work retail at some point. Everything you say here is so true!

    *various gift shops, kids shoe store, Sears (the WORST)

  5. In high school I once worked in the tube room in the basement of I. Magnin. Stanford shopping center. No customer contact per se, but the meanest supervisor ever,

    You have got to be the coolest woman on the Internet.

    1. @MaryAnne,

      The room where, pre computers, the sales staff would send the paperwork for us to look up credit numbers or make change. Yup. It was sent in a tubular contraption through a tube system. Kind of like when you go to the drive through at the bank.

      Can you tell I’m old?

  6. Such a great reminder. I worked as a waitress in college, which made me realize kindness isn’t as easy as it should be. This is an important reminder about how we treat people in all service industries.

  7. I worked in retail for two years in the eighties… trying to decide if I wanted to finish my university degree. Working retail decided me that I did. Ha. I worked on the cosmetic counter at a big department store here in Ottawa.And I worked through two Christmas seasons. But as busy as it was, as insanely crowded as it got, we kind of loved the Christmas season. We got more dressed up for work, the sales floor always felt festive. And the last two days before Christmas were a boon to the commission of every girl in cosmetics… because of desperate husbands. The Clinique and Estee Lauder and Elizabeth Arden Christmas gift sets flew off the shelves. I still remember a man who rushed in two hours before we closed on Christmas Eve ready to buy anything, anything at all. I think he left with a selection of those gift sets. Ha.
    I hear what you’re saying, though, Lisa. The thing I always think of during the insanity of Christmas shopping is that sales people work longer hours during this time, standing on their feet many more hours each day, and then have way less time to fight through those self same crowds to shop for their own family. Plus they have to listen to taped carols all day, from Halloween all the way through to Christmas Eve. Ackkk.

    1. @Sue Burpee, There were parts of this that I loved. All the stories of the holidays from customers – people from all over the world here in California. And the adrenaline of the rush, when I didn’t make any big mistakes that had to be fixed!

  8. Back in my pre-coupled days, I paid close attention to how my date treated all the folks w/ whom we came into contact: wait staff, cabbies, doormen. If said date wasn’t polite and/or understanding, I’d never second-date ‘em. Shouldn’t we all be ruled by the good old fashioned “golden rule”? Makes life so much sweeter.

    Love your blog…

  9. When I was young I thought the people who worked in retail were so elegant. Later I realized that working behind the cosmetic counter or checking out clothes didn’t mean you had the money to buy them. It certainly didn’t mean that you had health insurance.
    I’m still hoping we can learn to be kind to each other.

    Luci

  10. Thank you for this post. It should be requires reading for all in-store shoppers.

    May please I add one more courtesy?

    When you get to the cashier, put. away. your. phone.

    1. This post should be required reading (not requires). (I’ve gotta start proof reading before I hit post! …lol)

  11. Working as a waitress for two summers taught me a lot about how to treat other people. I hope I will never forget those lessons.

  12. Thank you for posting this. I worked retail (Sears) during the summers and Christmas holidays when I was in school, and it made a profound impression. I still think everyone should do it at some point, and it would behoove us all to be kind to everyone we meet especially anyone in any kind of service job. And I firmly believe that the way we treat salespeople, waitstaff, doormen, cabbies, etc is an important window into our characters.

    1. @Mardel Fehrenbach, I found out that my character was well-served by a little light shone. I can get quite indignant at something that’s not right, I have vowed to scale my reactions back.

  13. Beautiful post! Thank you for helping me reminisce about my last retail adventures, some 50+ years ago, at Thalheimers, a large Virginia based department store. Things are very different now, but the balm of kindness is always a requirement. My favorite part: the sweet customers. Most unfavorite: the sheer fatigue and tired feet at 9 p.m., even as an 18 year old!

  14. This is so apt and important. I, too, joined the retail crew at Christmas and was lucky to work with a great team. But there are problems, for those of us who are not intuitive with the software-what’s POS? Why do I have an 8 digit ID number? and the kindness of strangers makes such a difference. Being kind is its’ own reward, but it also helps the person with whom you are dealing be kind to you.
    I work in clothing and am amazed that so many people do not hang up clothes after trying them on, stack up insane amounts of stuff in a changing room and do not acknowledge the person or people helping them find and enjoy clothing, and their shopping experience. Do you leave clothes on the floor in your own closet? Do the clothing fairies clean it up? Because if they don’t., a worker paid minimum wage does.
    As a mature person, I am aware of the invisibility of other over 50s in the clothing world. My Christmas gift to the world was to see, to recognize and to help older customers.
    Being kind, pleasant and appreciative makes all the difference in the world.

  15. Working retail is an eye opener.
    I worked at the primary gift store in Davis after I graduated, because I didn’t get the job I wanted and I needed income. I was glad for the income, but aware that I had a huge safety net that many of my fellow employees did not have. Degree or not, whatever your background, we were all on the same footing: Can you do the job well? Can you still be smiling when your feet hurt? Can you keep your workspace drama-free? Can you learn a new trick or two? Are you supportive of your coworkers, able to play on a team?
    It was a cushy job as retail goes. Minimum wage went further back in 1982. The business was family owned and ethically run. They stood us for drinks at the local restaurant when paychecks were late one Friday. Even so, it gave me a perspective on retail workers that I’ve kept to this day. Be kind. We’re all people.

  16. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat servers in a restaurant. Ditto for retail.
    People can be downright rude, and they act like they are entitled to whatever they are demanding. Their bad attitudes are a reflection of THEMSELVES and not the person they are berating.
    Mr. Rogers used to say that we leave a little bit of ourselves with everyone we meet. It’s so easy to make someone’s day. We must be kinder to one another. Excellent post Lisa.

  17. Love this post. Love your retail experiment. (I’ve thought of doing that, and setting the money aside for a trip or a purchase I’d not otherwise make.) Wish I’d come upon you in your store. I wonder if we’d have recognized each other from online photos only. While at Cal, I worked at Macy’s accessories, notable for the pair of hoops I sold to the glorious Angela Davis, who I wanted to tell my angry high school principal had once compared me to, to my never-ending delight (but I pretended not to recognize her so she could enjoy choosing her hoops with her friend); and then the credit department, notable for how painful it can be for the customer asking for an account and for the clerk delivering bad news, or conversely, the angry, abusive customer who thinks you are wrong. Back in those days I was trained, back in those days—the tail-end of the seventies—they’d just left the saleswomen-wear-all-black era, and my lack of a bra was an issue. (I managed to keep my opaquely braless ways, but it was tense there for a while.) My parents talked to we four kids about how one treats *everyone* with exactly the same respect from the person who cleans your hotel room (mostly motels in the American West when I was learning this as a child) to the owner of the hotel chain (my ex was friends with the Four Seasons owners). I treated, I treat, everyone the same. I did the same in Silicon Valley: the front-desk administrator was the same as the CEO and Chairman of the Board. When I’m in a retail store, which happens rarely these days because I often shop online, but mostly because I’m trying not to shop, I’m always aware of the clerk as a person with as full and complex a personal life as my own, and I’m always polite and friendly. I’m one of those extroverted introverts (you have to know me better to know I’m shy and need a lot of time to recharge), but when I’m in a store, I seem extroverted because I want to support the clerk with whom I’m working. My last retail in-store experience was buying new sets of glassware at Crate and Barrel in September for my house-host’s new house. I made a purchase, and then later had to make an exchange and a return. The return line was long, the clerk was flustered; he kept calling for assistance that was not arriving. I was happy to note that the long line of customers waited patiently while he went through our sales and returns one-by-one. The return-clerk happened to be the same clerk who’d helped me choose the goblets, flutes, and tumblers originally. He was a tall, broad-shouldered young man, and as we wended our way among the stacks of glasses I asked him if he ever thought about what the store would be like during an earthquake, and if he ever just felt worried about breaking things. He told me, “I was having a terrible time until a woman I worked with said, ‘You have to stop thinking about it as glass.’ After that I was fine.” I loved that and noted to myself that by slowing down, getting to know the clerk as a fellow human, and listening to him, I came away with a metaphor for so many things. “You have to stop thinking of it as glass and just get on with it.” I still think about that and smile. Happy Saturday.

  18. You experienced a lot. I have heard working with the general public in retail can be difficult, even brutal. We’ve all seen it. Especially when a clerk takes a nasty customer to heart. I’ve on occasion told a cashier, it is not your fault the customer must be having a bad day. The cashier seemed relieved to know someone was on her side and the tension calmed. I’ve often felt the cashiers should be able to call in a manager to deal with an unreasonable, nasty customer. Cashiers are not paid enough to deal with the crap. Did working in retail give you what you were seeking? I’m looking at health clubs and spas with a pool and sauna. Not quite sure which will meet my needs.

  19. A few years ago, I was “seasonal help” at one of the local Pottery Barns. I loved it. Customers were, for the most part, pleasant.

    The best part was the cross corporate discount. I could buy from Williams-Sonoma, Pottery Barn, and Pottery Barn Kids. The discount was 40% off even if the item was on sale. There were a handful of exceptions, but being able to purchase high quality Christmas gifts for the family at a very reasonable price made it all worth the fourteen to twenty hours a week. I now miss that discount. I think I would (and may) do it again. I would almost work for free just to enjoy that benefit.

  20. I worked at an upscale department store in Chevy Chase, Maryland whose motto was “the customer is always right” (even when the item they are trying to return never came from our store!) several decades ago and have thought everyone should do this at least once. It might teach them to be more patient and kinder. I learned to be more understanding of people in the service industry.

  21. I worked at Birks a jewellery store here in Canada (it is similar to Tiffany’s) the Christmas before I got married and had so much fun. I would help people find gifts and then I would wrap the presents. I also shopped for my family and I got a discount so I purchased our set of silver flatware before I left! It was 6 weeks of bliss!
    I appreciate retail clerks and understand their days can be long and people can be rude.
    How brave of you for trying something new!

  22. Fascinating! I’ve never done a retail job and I’ve always wondered what it might be like. You have cured me of any additional curiosity! But I’d love to hear more about your motivations and experience.

  23. Interesting and true. Years ago, when my children were small and I wanted some more ready cash, I took a Saturday job at a well-known book retailers. I did this for about a year and it was eye-opening. Like you, I learned a lot and also felt a bit slow, compared to my youthful colleagues. But I soon picked it up and really enjoyed helping customers, who could be a strange bunch at times. The Christmas rush was exhausting and, like you again, the tills confused me QUITE A BIT. Especially when the till roll ran out. And at cashing up time…but I felt useful and as if I was genuinely helping people. It’s a fine thing to do something out of your sphere.

  24. As an online shopper, I can only speak for customer service by voice. I will never forget the evening I called the late, much-lamented Barney’s in New York to inquire, with my measurements, whether I should get a puffer in medium or small.
    While the New York store was closed, the Barney’s in California was not, and the person on the phone actually tracked down a sales associate on the floor in the California store who had sold that jacket, and, that way, got me the correct size.
    The quality of service matters, too, and that effort was outstanding.

  25. What an eye-opening experience, thank you for sharing, and reminding us all of the value of civility. Even better, kindness. And what wonderful comments, here.

  26. I have rules for retail shopping (including grocery shopping):
    1) Always look whoever is helping you (or who you are passing by while they stock shelves) in the eye and greet them with a friendly smile and a hello;
    2) say excuse me if I am interrupting them in a task and need their help;
    3) never use/answer my mobile while involved in any interaction with the staff;
    4) commiserate with them when they are clearly in distress (e.g. previous customer was a pig, hours with no break, etc.); and
    5) thank them kindly for their assistance.

    One wouldn’t think it would be so hard–but clearly being civil and/or kind, appears to be a lost art for some folks.

  27. So much food for thought here, both in your post and in the responses to it. . . add this to the list of things we might chat about next visit ;-)

  28. My daughter worked in retail for 2 1/2 years (& in an athletic club…oh the stories she told about THAT job…retail nightmares x 10.) Not only did she have to clean up after messy shoppers, accommodate shoppers who arrived 10 minutes before closing, shoppers who came in every week to try on outfits and did not purchase anything, shoppers who had worn clothes & tried to return them, listen to the canned music for hours on end, unpack, steam clothing and set up displays within a company directed time frames (while serving customers) and other occurrences, she was required by the company to purchase and wear their current product line on minimum wage. Oh, and they were required to post outfits they created or pictures of willing customers in the outfits created by the sales associate at every shift. We always chat with, commiserate with, and thank the folks who work at our local stores. I dearly hope our bricks and mortars do not disappear. Our local rural economy will suffer greatly from the loss.

  29. Lisa this was great. Everyone needs to read this, and it was spot on. I cannot help laughing a little about the software, etc. I spent 7 years in retail, during college and after. I cannot imagine what it would have been like had my customers been so informed. There was no internet then. Thinking back, it has probably been the job I learned the most about everything- people, life, and how to be with others. Everyone should have a retail job at some time in their lives!! I would do it again, but probably for the holidays like you!

  30. I always treat sales associates very well. I know they have a motivation for being there, whatever it may be.

  31. It’s called POS software for a reason :) I also spent time in retail working my way into buying and finally operations. It is truly a thankless job. I was given one generous day of when my father passed. My first day back I was helping clear the lines at the register. My clients were a father-daughter duo. She was complaining to me about how difficult fathers are. I stupidly mentioned that I wish I still had mine to play-fight with. We finished up the sale and the duo found the ops manager and complained about me because I ’embarrassed’ them. Luckily the ops manager was a good guy and told me not to worry about it and offered me a break to get myself together. Anyway, since that day I always purposefully treat service staff kindly as fully-realized humans.

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