My daughter has finished her first week at the new job. She called me every day on the way home from work. I love to hear what she is experiencing, to imagine her in this new life, and to give advice. But I have been surprised by how often I have to say, “I don’t know honey. It depends.” Although I am more than familiar with corporate life, I lack first-hand information about her particular job, her company, its culture and processes. Companies are different and knowing how to navigate them requires direct and detailed observation. I will never have that opportunity. I met her high school teachers and her college thesis adviser. I highly doubt she will ever say the words, “I’d like to introduce you to my mother,” to her boss. Can you imagine? I’d look him in the eyes and shake his hand. And let’s say I showed up with something from the Oriental Trading company for my daughter’s desk? No. No. Your kids get older, they do things you haven’t done and will never do. Another reason to live a full life in your 20’s. Takes longer for your kids to know more than you.
She did say that people liked her new shoes. Yeah. Old dogs have old dog tricks.
11 Responses
When my kids ask a question, in which I don't know the answer, I will say, "Well, what is your impression? What do you think? What's your gut telling you?" Works everytime. They think I am wise.
Hurray for the shoes. :)
"Your kids get older, they do things you haven't done and will never do. Another reason to live a full life in your 20's. Takes longer for your kids to know more than you."
Couldn't agree more.
Amen and Amen.
sle
I totally introduced my mom to my boss! He's a really awkward person though, so it was weird.
Old dogs and their tricks…
Gotta love em!
You mean you're not a helicopter mom who arranged your daughter's job interview, accompanied her on it, and then called her professor/RA/boss to complain about the way he treated her?
You mean you actually raised an independent functioning adult?
Thank you.
Now that I have 5 children that are in their 20's, whom are all living life fully and doing things I have never done, I am amazed by their journey. They take risks that I never had the courage to take. They are trying new things. Going places to explore. They aren't afraid to try and fail and then try again.
I have watched the older ones grow into their own. I am watching the younger ones find their way to becoming who they are. Each of them are finding their place in this world without me. As much as they don't "need" me anymore, they still come to me for advice and to bounce things off of. They now find me wise and knowing and respect what life has taught me, even though I have less education then they do.
I had to laugh out loud at class-factotum's comment, because it is exactly what I thought.
I'll third what class-factotum said!
A few weeks ago, I read an essay by a business owner who was giving advice about how to reward good performance by Gen Y employees. One of the tips was to write a note to his/her parents expressing how proud they should be of their child. My reaction was, "WHAT?!" If my advisor or boss ever did something like that, I would absolutely die of embarassment. Introduce my parents to my boss if we happen to meet somewhere? Sure. Boss writes to my parents to congratulate them for raising someone capable of doing her job? That's weird and invasive and patronizing. Work and home should not mix that way.
wish I could introduce my parents to my boss! love that you talk things through with your daughter- when biz comes up with my mother on the line- it's promptly handed over to my father, the master of the universe (I mean it!) to talk shop.
always love your weekend AM POV on life posts :)
kHm
I confess I helicopter as much as I possibly can. I stay in touch with my kids, um, let's just say A LOT. So maybe it's the High WASP sense of needing to be "appropriate" that saves me from calling professors or managers. That and the fact that I'd probably be shot by my offspring:). I don't know how my kids got to be as capable as they are. I don't think I can take credit for it – except that I never threw them out the window during the years of sleep deprivation. And although I didn't really want to go back to work at the time, I have come to appreciate the extra experience and voice of some authority that my career has given me. Although I don't think I'm master of the universe yet. Maybe next year?
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