Privilege Blog

Object Of Desire: Even Tomboys Get Cold Necks

Jacket-and-Scarf-Isabel-Marant-Etro
My Etro men’s scarf, which I’ve worn and shown you eleventy billion times.

Scarves are popular. And well-documented, by Mai Tai, Deja Pseu, and the Hostess, among others. In silk, a hallmark of the Grande Dame. Fringed, purview of the Artsy Cousin.

Sturdy Gals and tomboys, however, avoid the traditional carré, unnerved by both flapping and sheen. Give us a rectangle, that domesticated geometry, that sometimes Golden Shape, and let simple squared-off ends hang safely at our lapels.

We do, however, support color. You can remove scarves without risking nudity, after all. And for color, in a rectangle, there’s really nothing quite like Etro. All praise the Italians.

Now, Etro’s admittedly pricey. But if you click through the carousel below, from Nordstrom through Bluefly to the vintage site, The RealReal, you just might enter the territory of possible.


I have found that little elevates extreme casual better than chandelier earrings and Etro at the neck. I suppose a zippered Étoile Isabel Marant jacket, like the one above, or pretty much anything Ms. Marant makes, here, or here, can’t hurt either.

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38 Responses

  1. Very nice way to glam up a simple white v-neck T! I know you’re very envious of our rain, but I can tell you that if you were here today, that scarf would end up wrapped around your neck. As many times as it could wrap . . .;-)

  2. I don’t wear square scarves either – ever. Finally had to break it to my MIL that actually Hermes scarves were not a good gift for me. I’m really loving that men’s Etro scarf in the denim color with red trim that you posted. Hmmm, will be considering it today. I’m not that big on “pops” of color either.

    1. @kathy, I like a subtle bit of color in my scarf, more evident than I’d wear in the main outfit, but not by much. The denim and red is a wonderful combination.

    2. I would call your scarf wearing more of a blend with your clothing, which I like, as in the photo above. Ordering the blue one now – it’s been on my mind all day.

  3. An absolutely lovely collection of fabric scarves – I’m with you, I don’t care for frilly, shiny or flappy.

    Having said that, nearly everyone on my Christmas list is getting a scarf this year, according to their tastes, crocheted by me. It’s been an adventure, to say the least.

    New hobbies are always so much fun. Need a pot holder?

  4. Thank you for the mention this morning on your blog post!
    I love scarves as you know and wear both long scarves and the Hermes square ones.
    I think the reason I like scarves so much is because my wardrobe is based around neutrals. Blacks whites and greys so colour happens via the scarf.
    With all the rain we have been having I have had to keep the Hermes in their orange boxes…rain and the Hermes silks are not friends, there is a warning on the card inside that says not to wear them in the rain….so I have been wearing cashmere and pashminas.
    Your Etro scarf has wonderful colour and the weave is brilliantly intricate…
    I like how you have paired it with the jacket.

  5. I have a lovely black/gray/ecru Etro rectangular scarce bought at a local consignment store. It looked to have never been worn. AND, it has fringe!

    I do wear square scarves as well. Like Hostess, my wardrobe is mostly black and gray.

    Lisa, the scarf you are wearing is lovely!

  6. Your scarf looks great with that jacket and t-shirt. I’m with you on wearing only long rectangular scarves, although I’ve finally made it to the point where I will actually loop them around my neck rather than just having the ends hang down. I decided that if I liked that look on others I could try it on myself, and it’s a nice way to bring a flattering color closer to my face when otherwise my outfit might be drab. Progress comes in small increments.

  7. Love rectangular scarves. I tend toward the wool plaid ones (preferably from Scotland). They work well here in Idaho. Our winters don’t lend themselves to silky, satiny stuff, even if I were so inclined.

    Have admired your Etro all eleventy billion times.

  8. I’ve just started wearing scarves – I love that they give an outfit an all new look. They’re practical and functional. Only cotton or cashmere for me… Otherwise I break out in a rash.

  9. There’s something about the UK that is very scarfy. I’ve gathered quite a few since I’ve been over here, in various weights, colours and fabrics. I like TK Maxx as they’ve got interesting scarves for discount prices.

    At the moment I’m on my autumn scarves, and not wearing them most days as it’s still not that cold. For a few months in winter they’ll be an everyday essential along with coat, gloves and sometimes a hat.

  10. These scarves are so beautiful. You have such wonderful taste. The colors and patterns are gorgeous. My giraffe neck loves scarves!

  11. Thank you for writing this. A wonderfully beneficial post! Living in the tropics I don’t get much wear of the collection I have, apart from one or two occasions every few months. An upcoming trip to Europe surely will benefit and hopefully I’ll look nice. Lol. I covet your Etro and Marant. XX

  12. I love love love that grey/aubergine/lilac scarf of yours. I’ve also moved away from the carrés for now, just feel too fussy. Think my scarf collection needs some Etro; those color stories are fabulous.

    1. Thank you ma’am! I wonder if you could wear any of those yellowish ones from The Real Real. They do remind me of that yellow J. Crew blouse you wore to our luncheon, no?

  13. Joyful Etro scarves! They satisfy my need for exquisite fabrics. They make lovely hair clips too.

    I’ll be wearing something from my own range this winter though.

  14. Love scarves and wear them year round!

    But I love that you used my favorite number eleventy billion more! It is second only to my favorite price, a buck three-eighty!

  15. I am a great fan of the rectangular scarf, I wear them all the time, but its rare that my whole outfit would cost as much as a single Etro scarf, so unless something pops up, misplaced, at a consignment or thrift store, its not for me, no matter how secretly good I might feel that I had one. As far as Hermes, definitely not my style.
    For much of the fall, I replaced the strap on my black bucket style handbag with a cross-body scarf, folded narrowly, and tied through each loop. I loved the look, and so did a lot of other people it seems, as I got a lot of compliments from strangers (perhaps that would un-nerve those of you like to remain unobtrusive, but I am a High Wasp who wants my flair to be noticed!). I’ve removed it, and put the strap back on for winter, which in Minnesota requires much more serious neckwear, and one scarf per outfit is enough.

    1. If you can create that much flair on that kind of budget, I bow to you. I will add, I really only wear two scarves, and they both cost huge sums of money, but I’ve had them for going on 10 years and they show no sign of wear or tear. That’s California for you.

  16. The scarf looks great! I’ve finally admitted that square scarves don’t really fit with my style either and am amazed at how freeing that is. I just like a long bit of color

  17. Your scarf is beautiful! Resale and vintage sites or shops are great places to search for scarves- I guess some are given as gifts, and unwanted.

    (To those looking on eBay, do be careful as there are counterfeits.)

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