A couple of weeks back, when Une Femme and I collaborated on posts about jeans, the last thing I expected was a referendum on whether I should wear skinnies. It got me wondering, “Why do people care so much about denim leg sleeves on a late-middle-aged woman?”
Readers had commented either (we’ll use the most expressive examples), “You have a rocking body!” or, “You look like you’re picking up cardboard in good shoes!” I wanted to deconstruct what those comments might mean, with extra urgency because I realized I hadn’t yet come truly clean about why I resisted #teamskinnyjeans.
So, at the highest level, why do people care what women wear? In turn, why might we resist the general opinion? Living in women’s bodies is like that. Bear with me for some underlying assumptions.
Important Fact: women are responsible for the continuation of the species. As a result society cares – a lot – about our bodies. But we live in those bodies, both biologically and politically, so we care – more. “Skinny jeans,” on this little blog, was just one example of the unseen self reflected in clothing choices. The unseen self being both biological and political.
On to the more immediate. Why does the world want me to wear skinny jeans? Hypotheses ‘R Us.
First one, the social desire for more formality. We like people to make an effort. I looked messy and uncontrolled in baggy pants. I wore my hair, which is ridiculously long, down. I get it. But let’s say, for the sake of argument, that the baggy jeans outfits were well-proportioned, modern, and appropriate – to the community in which I live. People still didn’t like them. Why?
I credit to the persistent and compelling strength of our female silhouette. We prefer it visible.
As we’ve discussed before, my body aligns with the socially desirable shape for women’s bodies. By that I mean, bluntly, my waistline looks like it might perpetuate the species. Of course, at 58, I cannot. Oh, and of course, nobody’s consciously thinking, “Hey, look, Lisa could have a baby!” Just saying that makes me shake my head uncontrollably, in laughter, in shock. But I think when we say someone has a good figure, we’re speaking from the species’ need to perpetuate itself.
How’s that for a cheery Tuesday thought?
(By the way, I get that your comments were compliments, approval for an aspect of who I am. I mean in no way to be ungrateful. Thank you.)
However, my particular body, both social and biological, hates tight pants. Against every High WASP dictate in the book, I’ll share the private reasons. Note that I do so in the service of truth-telling, and to further the conceptual discussion about style, not because I think my particular body and its quirks are all that interesting.
The Body Political
Why resist looking as though I’m making an effort? Especially when, in fact, I am? In San Francisco, the creative sort often wears looser, messier clothing than do the more conservative professionals. Therefore, given my current Artsy intent, if I wear an outfit that’s neatly-fitting up and down, I’m falsifying. (Note I don’t say “close- fitting,” that would be sexy and therefore Not Allowed for High WASPs. But “neat” is supported for the Sturdy.)
In neatly-fitting clothes (unless at work or for an occasion) I’m disguised in the costume of my origins. I’m reminded of the inner space where great-aunts and grandmamas wonder, “Why is your hair in your face all the time?” Please no. Not now.
The Body Biological
And, well, um, can’t get around it. Although High WASP bodies are supposed to disappear somewhere between our collarbones and mid-knee, I confess I am prone to UTIs. I don’t even like to wear workout tights any longer than necessary. So beyond aesthetics or politics, no skinnies.
I suppose I should have told you all this to begin with, but, all hail the High WASP body disappearance, in full force.
And we’re not going to do a Polyvore, OK? Right. I figured.
Again, my particular body quirks are far more embarrassing than interesting. I’m writing because I felt as though I’d been feigning truth, and I need truth to be true. I also wanted to remind all of us, myself included, that urging women to consider spurned fashion choices is sometimes supportive, and sometimes, despite our best intentions, not.
Fashion incites because, uniquely, it displays deeply held beliefs and bodily secrets, using materials optimized for attraction and surfaces. We say who we are when we dress, even if there are things we try never to say at all.
And now, because sometimes we just like clothing without all the jibber-jabber, let’s shop. High WASP tip: talk about “good-looking” things when ideas and emotions get embarrassing. Don’t you just love that little boho tank?
Politics #1. (6 items, click the little gray arrows to see them all.)
Politics #2. ( 5 items, click the little gray arrows to see them all.)
By the way, since this post contains information of a particularly personal nature, I am moderating these comments. Usually I do not.
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91 Responses
Wow, this whole skinny jeans thing really gets people going:-) I too do not like tight clothes and don’t feel comfortable in them, either mentally or physically. As I said the first time this subject went around – why force yourself to wear something you’re not comfortable with. What is the point? Go baggy jeans! I’m looking forward to your continued Artsy evolution.
@LauraH, Thank you. And an Artsy evolution is my greatest hope.
@LauraH, There is a lot of room between skinny and baggy, if one is going to spend time parsing jean cuts.
I love this post. Truthfully, I think “good body” is code for “thin” these days, and everyone feels that if you’re slim, you should show it off. The part about “get your hair out of your face” (my extended family) cracked me up so much.
I recently bought a pair of baggy-ish selvedge jeans, and although they’re not the most flattering on me (again, don’t make me look my slimmest) I love wearing them, and right now just don’t care that I’m not just looking at clothes to make me look the thinnest, but more as an expression of my own aesthetic.
@kathy, “Thin” is most of it, followed by a little muscularity. Funny, that what society wants is exactly what’s hardest to get to, given our sitting and eating of packaged foods. I absolutely want my clothes, now, to express my aesthetic and my beliefs, more than flatter my figure.
@kathy, A friend of mine told me about a sample sale she hit recently. She said, “All of the young women looked the same, like Katie Holmes, in skinny jeans and ballet flats, with not a wave or curl in their hair.” I could see them immediately. Even if one has the (slim) shape to wear the skinniest jeans, perhaps one wants to look less like the herd?
Um, I don’t think you need to justify your fashion choices by offering anything more than, I like it on me. I think it looks good on me. My choice. Isn’t that what fashion is, ultimately, a reflection of self? We are the same age. Surely by this point if we want to wear a bunch of bananas on our heads, why the hell not? I understand that this is a blog that is about digging down under the layers of fashion, place, and identity, but it seems to me that ultimately, in the end, what is “sturdiest” about all of us, is our own sense of self. I’ve read your blog for a awhile and repeatedly you’ve offered legitimate reasons why you believe that “skinny” jeans don’t suit you, both physically and esthetically. One of the most infuriating issues that women our age face is the invisible self. We disappear. This also extends to the inaudible self. You’ve stated your case numerous times. People aren’t hearing you. THAT is what people should focus on, not on what I consider the trivial issue of the circumference of your pant legs.
@Claire Johnson, This is a very good point. In the post collaboration with Une Femme, I think the voices were louder because many people came over from the other blog, had not read me before, and were doing the Internet version of running through an open house in one’s neighborhood, “Hi, love the cookies, gee why no marble counter, bye.” Which is OK, I am happy for the readership. But that we don’t listen when women repeatedly explain what they want to wear, and why, and that we are prone to exhorting women to make certain fashion choices, well, it isn’t always as supportive as one might hope.
@Claire Johnson, I enjoyed and appreciated your comment. And I’d add, it is also a valid choice to be less than maximally visible. I hope to be not exactly invisible, but to be discreet. The term that comes to mind is “light visual footprint”.
@Claire Johnson, Excellent point!
@Claire Johnson, well said. Claire.
For most just getting into skinny jeans is one step but then looking good is another hurdle. So not wearing them seems ungrateful and people do project a lot on outfits!
i hear you on your physiological reasons for skipping the skinnies, and of course i would never expect you to be uncomfortable on Fashion’s Behalf. i think the “neatly-fitting clothes” argument, on the other hand, is a bit misleading: many of the tops in your recent jeans post fall well within that description, and i would note that the black top you wear with the selvedge jeans is as snug as many a pair of skinny jeans. on the aesthetic/political front, if you will, i would note that in many circles, some of which are in san francisco, close-fitting clothing is considered just as artsy as looser pieces are; boyfriend and boot-cut jeans are more conservative and/or formal to some eyes, in fact. as inigo montoya might say, i do not think that look always means what you think it means. my point? long ago when the earth was flat and the great Privilege v. Skinny Jeans debate began, you said you personally did not prefer the silhouette for yourself. it’s the one argument we commenters can’t counter, try as we might, and it’s the one that rings truest to me.
@lauren, So, selvedge jeans with a tight tee do not trigger the “neatly-fitting” warning in my brain. It’s only the neat from head to toe. And that look of course won’t always mean what I think it means – I am explicating my motives more than laying down the truth of Fashion. I get my feelings about SF from a Mission District v. The Marina/FiDi comparison but clearly some people can go tight from head to toe and Artsy the heck out of their look anyway.
All of what I said above is true, to me, and offers an underlying set of explanations for the I Do Not Prefer It For Myself primary point. <3
I do like skinny jeans but just this week have donated one of my older pairs and bought Not Your Daughters Jeans which are wider and slightly flared….will do a post soon.
Interesting topic and aren’t we judgemental when it comes to what people wear?
I usually keep my opinions to myself but I do admit that i do notice what my peers are wearing. I think you’re dressing to please yourself, what looks and feels good and has a bit of a personal statement as well….and really we are not ready for Castleberry knits quite yet are we?
@Bungalow Hostess, Oh god, Castleberry knits. hostess, my mother adored those. My sister and I begged her to give them up. She wore one ensemble for over 25 years; it was still in her closet when she died at 99. But I have to say, she worked that look!
Brava for this honest post — I had to go back and read the rest of the comments on the original post. Such investment! I have to admit I’m never comfortable with this part of the fashion blogging scene — there are many times when I’m just posting what I wore, or what I’m wearing, and I’m only sharing, not asking for advice or assessment or judgement. I’m already out in the world with this stuff on for a reason. . . So impressed with the way you managed to respond to all the comments — especially the one I found verged (verged? ha!) on rudeness — with splendid equanimity. Mad props to you!
@Frances/Materfamilias, That’s why I hardly ever post WIWs. They seem to attract for such comments.
One of the bloggers out there in sewing land was taken to task for her choice of footwear. She shot back with the point that she has difficult feet and most shoes hurt like hell, so thank you very much but she’ll wear what she wants.
It’s called boundaries.
@Jean S, Boundaries. Which, to an extent, we forfeit when we post photos of ourselves, for better some times, and for worse, often.
@Jean S, I agree, Jean. I think we’re only entitled to what you choose to give us.
I’m so sorry you felt the need to explain! I’m one of those who commented that you look great in skinny jeans. Perhaps I wasn’t paying close enough attention to that post, but I commented simply because you DO look great in skinnies and I wanted to disabuse you of any notion that you don’t. Often what prompts us (at least me) to comment is how we feel about and perceive ourselves – for example,I don’t wear skinny jeans without ankle boots for balance because otherwise I look like a stuffed sausage – and not to clean you up or criticize your choices. I think you always look great!
@Leslie, Oh thank you. No need to feel sorry! My own inner workings that propelled me:).
#teamwearwhatyoulike
High heels – won’t wear them, don’t care if they look better. Just no.
“Hey, look, Lisa could have a baby!” – you are one funny lady :)
@Patsy, High praise from you, queen of the ROFL:).
Fascinating post. Thank you for your honesty. I also was surprised by the number of people who wanted you in skinny jeans, and by some of the ways they chose to express it, which were in some cases, as you noted, running-through-your-house rude. I’ve always loved loose clothing, and I would add the qualifier artsy, using your terminology. I think this was because for most of my life I had a muscular, slender body with a small waist, and a good waist-to-hip ratio that received a lot of attention that I did not want. There is a picture of my younger sister and me in the Art Institute in Chicago. We’re both in our early twenties. My younger sister, who struggled, and to an extent still does struggle, with anorexia, is very thin and in a short, fitted summer dress. I am wearing a loose black polo shirt buttoned up to my neck with the collar up and a long, somewhat full jean skirt. My fisherman’s sandals are barely sticking out from underneath. Yet I was in great shape, ran or walked 6 miles most days, and did look good when I wore something fitted. But, attention. I loved you in the looser silhouettes. You look elegant in jeans with a wider leg. I like a fitted top with a looser jacket, and looser pants. My main argument for why this is elegant would be: Katharine Hepburn and her trousers. I’m with Kathy Leeds on laughing out loud at your family descriptions. My mom was, and is, very proper and was always wondering why my hair was in my eyes. I’m not a WASP, but Susan Champlin, a few years ago, provided me with the wonderful expression White Anglo Saxon Catholic (WASC) for the way I was raised, though in my case I would have to add White Angle Saxon and American Indian Catholic, so it gets quite complicated. On both sides of my family, my grandparents were trying to fit a WASP model. In the case of my American Indian grandparents this accompanied a need to survive without harassment or fear of death, and a need to convince the dominant power structure that they were allowed at the table without spilling or using the wrong fork. You looked gorgeous in the outfits you wore in that piece. Keep wearing them as well as you do. It inspires me to follow suit after years of Greek widow dressing. xo.
@Katherine C. James, I hope you have fun in the process. Thank you for understanding – it’s fascinating to me how people with backgrounds so different on the surface have such common experience and reactions.
I hear ya! I don’t evn like to wear most jeans, never mind skinnies. For similar reasons as you. Forget high heels. I tend to get eye infections, or at the least really irritated eyes from most makeup. So I embrace the tomboy look, and try to make it is feminine as is comfortable for me. Thank goodness those days when a dress was required for work are over. At least in my line of work.
I didn’t think your baggy jeans were too baggy, I thought you looked great. Either way, thank you for putting yourself out there as an example.
@Susie, You’re welcome. Can you imagine what people like us did in the 1950s? At least as that decade is portrayed in the media? I just remember HATING ruffles and elastic:).
WWhile I have never coveted anyone’s jeans for style or fabric, I have often thought “I wish my jeans fit like that.” I
believe that THAT was the origin of all of that pro-skinny sentiment . You are blessed with the figure that many aspire to- kudos. And for the UTIs… Try D- Mannose . I speak from experience .
@Kathy D., Thank you for the compliment and the recommendation!
Have you ever thought you might at rare times overthink? You like what feels good on your body and suits your life, and need no excuse.
And as I recall, those persons most interested in my availability for species perpetuation barely noticed what kind of jeans my jeans were ;)
@Duchesse, I don’t know, I’d have to define “overthink.” ;).
sorry to stress you out… as i had a cancerous brain tumor removed in Sept and am on steroids i have lost my filter, hair, waistlne etc . Life to too short to stress about skinnys and being “a wasp” amid privilege but I do wish i had an Anna from Downton Abbey as it is a it difficult to dress with loss of feeling in my left side.
UPSIDE… i am the proud owner of Valentino Rock Stud Valentinos (thanks wonderful husband) cause I am tough as nails….we can afford and i deserve them….always have …. i have removed my midwestern catholic guilt trip.
Thank you for your own honesty here. I am so sorry about your illness, and I hope the treatment is effective.
@barbaraconnellybruch, love and hugs to you, Barbara!
I appreciate your transparency, Lisa, but wouldn’t a High-Wasp consider it impolite to speak of one’s bodily functions in public? ( or private, for that matter!)
@Mamavalveeta03, Yup!
I’m so glad you posted this ! I thought even in blogland no one would give health reasons for not wearing something as sacred as skinny jeans . (And health is always closely related to comfort .)
I am so much encouraged by your post and the thoughtful comments .
@Rukshana Afia, I am so happy that the post was useful – the readers always are. I suppose health is the muse of the art of comfort. Or something like that;).
The name is an alarm bell. Skinne jeans makes you want to get into them and the second hurdle is looking good in them. So if you can look good people think it’s odd you don’t wear them! But there is a lot of projection and I think the whole skinny jeans issue is a broader one for sure.
You should be comfortable (psychologically speaking) in how you dress, as that is how you wish to present yourself. I understand completely that although others may say you look great in skinny jeans, that is just not who you are. You are being true to yourself and that I guess is being authentic – I know, overused word ;-). BTW, what is UTI?
@Jane, I am thrilled to be authentic. It takes so long, or did for me at least, to even know what authentic for me WAS. And UTI means urinary tract infection.
Hmm, I also had to go back and read the comments, as I only admired the post itself for its jeans-styling ideas (fabulous, esp. the selvedge outfit, BTW). Some posters seemed to imply “if only I looked like you, I would choose this silhouette.” The situation there reminds me a lot of what happens when my mother takes me shopping for a gift, usually on my birthday. It took until my mid-40s to finally catch on to how very difficult it was to resist her dressing me like a Barbie doll, just like she would like to dress if she was “young and cute” (ha!) like me. Mom prefers the “classics”, while I am an artsy/tomboyish sort, so I ended up with waaay too many sweater sets, among other things I never wear. (I really have to guard against the same urge myself with my own daughters, so I sympathize.)
@Kristina, That perspective hadn’t even occurred to me. And I too am guilty of dressing my daughter, luckily, she tells me what she likes and I abide by her very good taste;). As I am sure you do or at least will when yours are grown.
Wear what you like, definitely. I shifted my style in a distinctly not-on-trend direction in part because fitted clothes (and especially tight waists) trigger back spasms for me, and in part because I’ve always liked loose flowing fits. And if someone told me I needed to tighten things up I’d react about as well as I did when I was in college and my mom pestered me to “stop wearing floopy clothes” and show off my body. That ain’t who I am.
@Cynthia, “That ain’t who I am.” To be said with a full-throated laugh!
I think there are several impulses behind the comments. The first is the “if I had your body, I’d wear skinny jeans, so you should, too.” The second is a generally well meaning encouragement to get a bit out one’s psychological comfort zone and try something flattering and currently fashionable. A gentle nudge from one’s closest friends in this direction is often appreciated. From virtual strangers on the internet, perhaps not. Finally, most women are hypercritical about their own appearance and there is an impulse to give positive feedback when we think someone wears something well – especially if she doesn’t see it that way.
None of those reasons are sensitive to how far something is out of the physical or psychological comfort zone or any intentions regarding social signaling. The question then becomes – what feedback is useful on outfit posts? In “real life”?
@DocP, I had a sense of the second point you make. That’s one of the reasons I posted again – I knew people were trying to address what I’d said about my upper thighs, and I felt bad not being able to appreciate their intended support. But the first point, I had not thought of. In terms of what outfit posts feedback is useful, all thoughtful and not too mean feedback is in one way or another. For example, I won’t take the advice to wear skinnies, but I have learned a lot about myself and others in the discussion. And there have surely been occasions where I did learn from, and take, fashion advice.
For example, I wear purple now:).
I am part of Team Wear What You Want. Skinnies are a fad anyway. I recall you getting some flack for boot cut jeans awhile back. My point is that while you are willing to share, you and your jeans are up to you ( and your husband). Don’t take our comments too much to heart.
@Mary anne, I am a taker to hearter. I’ll try to keep it under control;). On to lighter topics.
I think DocP ^ hits the nail on the head.
I live in a state with one of the highest obesity rates in the country, and it is almost shocking for me to see anyone over the age of 50 who is not significantly overweight. I think the exotic rareness here, and the increasing rareness all over the country has something to do with how many people wanted you to wear the skinny jeans.
For what it’s worth I think you looked great, though I can certainly understand and support you not wearing them if they make you uncomfortable.
@Sarah, Ah, the regional differences must play into this too. In Northern California – I guess given the accessibility of fresh produce, the focus on health, and the extreme ease of getting outdoors almost all year long – my body type is not uncommon. Thank you so much for helping me think this through.
Fascinating comments, as often are found here….I simply assumed that, as a retiree, you were indulging your inner tomboy more with the looser jeans since you didn’t have to plan “double duty” for your wardrobe any more (oh, to be able to wear jeans to work, on a day other than Friday, and to be able, on Fridays, to wear whatever I desire, be they boyfriends or skinny, or ancient and actually not very attractive but super comfortable). The physiological rationale makes equal sense. I am prone to those UTIs as well, for different reasons, and have begun a regimen of cranberry pills. I like cranberry juice quite a bit, yet that concentrated dose in pill form seems to be working. Nothing like 11 rounds of antibiotics in 2 months to make you declare that, yes, I don’t really care what others say, my sturdiness says I will do what works for me. Go you!
@Gretchen, 11 rounds in 2 months! OK. That is a marathon. Good to hear about the cranberry pills, and you are an expert. Not a title I imagine you wanted, of course;).
And it is nice to wear retired clothes, it really is.
Lisa, as always, this is a very thought provoking post. I have to readily agree with those who say that a “good body” is code for thin. I am bemused with how many examples I see by middle aged bloggers of older women who are being embraced as role models of “real women” – because 99.9% of these women are thin. Stick thin, boyish thin, age-defying slim-hipped thin.
So much for the rest of us with pouchy stomachs, batwing arms, and stocky legs. I’m not talking about the obese, I’m talking about gravity, multiple child-bearing, and ethnicity.
Young or old, thin is in.
However,
@Loretta, I think that’s an important point, the effect of ethnicity on body shape, and how that adds to the pressure and internal conflict.
I am moved to comment on this post and say thank you! for your surprising honesty.
@Jill, Thank you in return.
My cardboard comment was guy speak for, although you look great in all the well coordinated jean ensembles, the skinny jeans accentuate the good breeding, self discipline and wonderful sence of style you have been blessed with. Thank you for sharing your well developed insight.
@George, My pleasure, in the company of witty and thoughtful readers.
No skinnies, understandable considering the UTI’s. But beyond High WASPs and Creative San Franciscans, who what and where are YOU? YOU are not your city, not your social status. Political or not, you are beautiful. It is human nature to be drawn to beauty- it’s not even personal! You are what you are. You are beautiful. Find what YOU are, regardless of the rest. Show THAT, your uniqueness, your individuality- not outside influences. You are old enough now to be what you ARE. PS, we are the same age.
@Shawn Brown, This is exactly what I’m doing now, amalgamating the separate pieces of self, and seeing what is new, different, and unique. Thanks for the words of encouragement.
i love the bloggosphere and read several blogs on fashions for “certain age” gals every day. one thing that bugs me, tho, is the uniformity of the fashion. women should express their individuality in their dress, which can be done within the confines of the prevailing styles quite easily. there are cuts and fits for every figure and taste these days (yay!) and we should all wear what makes us feel well dressed in our own personal style.
in a recent post by another blogger, a photo of 4 gorgeous, stylish french women was featured. all the comments were slavishly positive. i guess i was the only reader who thought they looked so much alike their own mothers wouldn’t have recognized which was which without the caption at the bottom of the photo. not a single item of color on any. same hair color, same hair style, same makeup. please continue to dress as you please in ways that express lisa!
@susan, I will! Life’s too short to do otherwise, if that’s what moves you:). I am curious, can you describe the look you’re referring to?
Interesting comment, but not made by Susan in Dallas.
@susan, the photo i referred to is of “emanuelle alt and her crew” from paris vogue. the 4 ladies look gorgeous. they are all wearing identical skinny jeans. they all have black jackets, except one who, gasp, is wearing a grey jacket. their hair is styled identically, parted on the side, a bit longer than shoulder length, identical rich henna brown. minimal makeup, minimal jewelry, nothing individual about any of them. 4 gorgeous peas in a pod. am i all alone in thinking this is sort of boring?
@susan, To both Susans – I can tell who is talking, because of the email addresses:). In terms of the Emmanuelle Alt “crew,” I think to us it is weirdly homogenous, agreed. To the fashion world, who is probably so weary of outrageous street styles and photography that they could scream, I think it feels like sanity.
With regard to pushing the limits of one’s psychological comfort zone: in the past I have purchased things that are “not my style” with the encouragement of well intentioned friends and somewhat well intentioned (?) sales associates. Even though I agree the item is fashionable, physically comfortable, fits and flatters my body, somehow it never gets worn. “Just not me” should be an absolute veto with no justification or explanation needed.
@DocP, Yeah, exactly. I like it best when get my inspiration to move outside my comfort zone from others – at my own pace. Too much encouragement, and I’m apt to either dig in my heels too strongly, or jump when I shouldn’t have.
Thank you for being so honest! Of course it makes perfect sense. I was always supportive of skinnies on you because you have such a fantastic figure full stop but if they cause actual discomfort and even precipitate an attack then never ever look at them again! Actually when I was girl, for many years, I never wore jeans or most other trousers in fact for the same reason of discomfort (even without the UTI).
@silkpathdiary, Done and done! xox.
Very interesting and I love your depiction of “conventional informality”. Had me in stitches.
What I actually like about the skinnies outfit is that it shows more skin, arms and especially between hem and shoe, and looks more balanced this way.
I’m sure you’re right about perception of the female form, having grown my hair longer I attract many more looks now. I hadn’t realised it’s such a powerful trigger.
Interestingly I also have a pair of men’s pants that I reach for by default very very often although everybody tells me I look very good in skirts, having nice legs.
@mademarian, So pleased to have made you laugh! And I get what you are saying about the skin balancing – all the baggy jeans outfits did cover up more, they all included jackets. Were I really trying for apples to apples, I should have shown a baggy outfit with bare arms:).
In closing, we don’t owe our nice legs to society. They belong to us.
As someone who could have had babies but chose not to, I think you’re right that sometimes that’s where society is coming from when it looks at women. And I’m 55, so I could relate to your amusement that people might think you could have babies. I’ve never worn skinnies, & I never will, potentially reproductive or no, & I’ve gotten similar encouragement from people who wanted to compliment me & help promote a positive body image, but then I’m not a blogger, so I can understand that you may have gotten more/stronger responses. I support your choice to give personal details, but had you not felt comfortable doing so, please never feel pressured to!
@Megan, Thank you:).
Ps I think I’m in spam again!!
The next question is am i too old to wear overalls AT 63 …i think not. I wear them to garden but my new Current Elliotts in pinwale cords are flattering in a city and just plain adorable. and back to skinnys i really think they are kind of yesterday unless with a tunic … i prefer BF jeans way cooler.
See examples of more jeans and overalls on the woman of a certain age…http://barbbruchdesign.tumblr.com and some great clothing on http://lenamedoyeffstudio.tumblr.com ya’ll come to Portland and support local design and production!
@barbaraconnellybruch, Have at it!
Lisa, I wanted to wait to comment on this until I had time and focus to string together something coherent. :-) And yet (as when we are able to converse) I find my brain going in a million different tangents all inspired by something you’ve touched on. I think I’m going to need to respond more fully in a blog post, but in short, yeah, I get it. What we feel expresses our most authentic selves isn’t always in alignment with predominant views of what’s “flattering.” And to eschew the predominant view doesn’t mean we’re thumbing our noses at it or trying to hide attractiveness.
I look forward to your post and am sure that were we talking over this at lunch it would be a wonderful conversation:).
I so appreciate the honesty of this post! Every time I see a pair of leather pants (skinny, legging, or otherwise) I immediately think “those look cool but they would give me a raging yeast infection.” I always thought I was the only one!
Well, I can’t exactly say, “my pleasure;),” but, happy to be of service!
I wasn’t aware of the original post and comments, but you just ‘made’ me look up UTI!
lol and good for you wearing what you love.
Yeah I just couldn’t bring myself to spell it all out! Thank you:).
Great post. I’ve struggled my entire life with these issues – my Southern roots and a corporate world that pretty much require you to disguise yourself at every turn.
Reminds me of a quote that has “spoken” to me many times over the years. “We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves.” ~François VI de la Rochefoucault
That is a brilliant quote, and not one I’d heard before. Thank you.
On a psychological level, I see the point of the skinny debate. However, it does not evade the fact that you DO look good in them! Of course we each choose what we feel comfortable wearing, and should not bow to fashions or styles that make us feel uncomfortable. As a creative myself, I love to wear skinny jeans. When I wear looser clothes, I look bigger, feel bigger (all that extra fabric) and generally look older. For more formal occasions, I don’t wear skinny jeans / trousers but tailored tapered ones which also have the same desired effect (physically and psychologically), of making me feel and look good. I think the main thing is that we feel good in our own skin and with that, wear whatever the hell we want to wear! Of course there are women out there (especially noticeable here in the UK), who really should not be wearing the clothes they are in. Generally ill fitting (too small a size), too short, too low or whatever for their body type. It’s as if people have forgotten how to dress well and there is no real sense of occasion.
To each, at the end of the day, her own. Nice to meet you:).
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