The day has happily gotten away from me. I can also happily imagine that you are well busy, but if not, please don’t worry. Things can get better.
I will say that having adult children has been been a true adventure, one for which I had no map. My generation of my culture did not have, in my experience, real relationships with their parents until quite late in life. If at all. In 2021, we have the opportunity and the understanding to do otherwise with our own grown children.
I don’t mean real as in 100% raw everything is told all at once and forever. I mean simply acknowledging that they are at once adults and your children, and you are at once an adult and their mother. We are given, if we are lucky, extraordinary chances to learn in this human project. I am so grateful.
Have a good weekend, my friends.
10 Responses
Lisa, you are so right. Our relationships with our adult children are so different from how our relationships with our parents ever were. Sometimes I know a whole lot more about their lives (because they tell me) than I would like to know. For us, it is all part of being parents in this day.
All true. And if you are fortunate enough to have grandchildren, you will also see that one of the most wonderful aspects is watching your child parent their children..
I never thought about the significance of what you are saying. You are spot on! As you say there is no road map and yet, we we must provide an environment that allows our children the freedom to be whoever they are.
Have a wonderful week.
Luci
Perhaps being across the pond makes things very different or it is because I am not WASP ? My idea of a good relationship with my adult son is modelled directly on what I enjoyed with my mother in her last decades . I still miss her and wish I had been more reasonable earlier ! My son already seems more adult/reasonable than I expected when he flunked two Uni courses !
Lisa,
I agree that adult children are a treat! My relationship with my mother was very dysfunctional, but I am enjoying my daughters. Their affirmation of how my husband and I have raised them gives me great satisfaction.
Enjoy your week!
Treva
I was very fortunate. I had a very close relationship with my Mom and we discussed all manner of things. She was curious about life, relationships, the world and politics. She helped me to be more open in my thinking. I miss our deep talks where we challenged each other to look at life in different ways. I am also fortunate that I have the same relationship with my grown daughter. The deep talks and challenging each other have gone on to the next generation. Both of these strong intelligent women have made my life more beautiful. ❤️
Our children are extensions of ourselves in many ways. That said, speaking as a mother, there are always surprises along the way. The love we have for our children trumps all.
Friends, but parents – carefully navigated road.
Oh yes, so true. The pandemic has fostered this too, as my young adult children moved home and are still working remotely here with us. We actually like and enjoy each other.
This time together has been a rare gift in the midst of so much sadness and anxiety. I will always be grateful.
Perhaps the best part is realizing that you have children whom you actually want to be friends with! But I ditto KSL’s comment above – especially when the adult child in question has a spouse or is in a committed long-term relationship. A lot of loyalties involved …
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