In years past, I’ve marked July 4th several ways here on Privilege. Above, with red, white and blue (OK, fine, a little yellow too) plantings. Another year with a discussion of regional High WASP variants.
And another, via red, white and blue apparel and accoutrements.
(Also on my mother’s driveway, slightly tipsy, laughing.)
As you can imagine, this year those traditional colors don’t feel festive. But I can’t bring myself to grieve. We have a hard job to do but Sturdy Gals are optimists and we believe in that Yes We Can business.
However. If we want to continue as America in concept and actuality, we also have to be able to believe two violently contradictory ideas at the same time. This is never easy.
- One, we have to believe that our professed national ideals are real.
- Two, that we have failed beyond failure in realizing them, for many. And if we fail for many we fail for all. That’s what equality means.
Different people will find one idea harder to stomach than the other. Choosing to believe that ideals are real, if you’ve never seen any evidence, may take more faith than remains to you. I think I understand. People can swallow only so much disappointment. Choosing to understand that we’ve failed, on the other hand, only requires reading the history that we, or at least my generation and I, were never told. It’s out there now.
Essentially I see no option other than to keep trying. We all want to belong, and we want to belong to something good. We feed our families salad even when they complain, we show up at work early and we follow the rules and we take criticism to heart. So, the Sturdy Gal manifesto says, if we want those Fourths of July on Martha’s Vineyard by the bandstand, on a Santa Barbara cliff overlooking a wide beach, or in a taqueria parking lot on the hoods of our cars looking up at disappearing fire stars–all of which I have been lucky enough to experience–if we want them happy, we keep trying.
if you don’t know where to start on history, you can read the 1619 project at the New York Times. If you don’t believe America’s ever done anything good, talk to an immigrant who showed up here in the 1980s with a suitcase and $11 in his hand. Someone who faced every possible ill at home and came for that something better. Ask him.
To my way of thinking, being able to hold two contradictory ideas in your mind and commit yourself to the truth of both is a great power of human beings. The ultimate Sturdy privilege. Another part of Sturdy, especially in privilege? Quiet our inner voices and get to work in the service of others. Or, if you’re hurting, in the service of yourself.
Happy Fourth of July. I say that in full weight of its impossibility and possibility both.
17 Responses
Thanks, I needed that. I am feeling the second bullet a lot. I’m glad you posted today.
Beautifully written, Lisa.
Wow. Beautifully written indeed, and expressed in a clear voice. I needed to hear that it’s okay to hold opposing, contradictory ideas, but gosh, it makes my brain ache.
Thanks Lisa, have a peaceful 4th.
And btw, the blue silk pillowcases were for the master bedroom, not the camper van ;) My long white hair is breaking off like crazy at the temples, due in part to being crammed into a baseball cap so often. Let’s talk fragile hair solutions sometimes soon. I look like a dandelion gone to seed!
“Quiet our inner voices and get to work in the service of others.”
EXCELLENT! (and something worth celebrating)
Needed this. Thank you for distilling some thoughts to savor.
When I was a little girl my mother, an immigrant, use to bring all kinds of people home. It seems they would be her friend for acceptance.
One time I went fishing with Lola who worked for my mother as a maid. I saw her house a tin shack.
There were many others my favorite Ora-lee. I loved her then and now. I told her I wanted to iron like her. She told me no. I loved her uniform a white nurse’s outfit like a Barbie’s dress. I asked her why she bought her groceries in our neighborhood. She said there was not good food where she lived.
I don’t know what I’m trying to say but I am grateful to know these strong black women. I am not afraid of this movement. I do hope we are not lost in the rage.
Luci
Excellent piece (and lovely flowers, by the way). But why don’t I feel better after reading it? Perhaps I’m not a Sturdy Gal (never thought of myself in that way) but I must persist (I’m a primary caregiver for a very medically comprised but splendid man), and the thought that I have so little control over the dark direction of this country and the complications to his health that sheltering at home since Mar. 7 have created gives me little hope that I can get the two of us through the year in a way that is least harmful to him. Any recommendations on how to cope with despair would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Yes as usual I agree with you. I’m in the middle of Jill Lepore’s book “These Truths”. It’s an American history from 1492 on that tries to keep in mind both our worthy high ideals (these truths) and our appalling failures to extend those to native peoples or enslaved Africans. She talks about how the early (egregious) behavior was rationalized at the time and also how ideas of liberty and democracy were hammered out. It helps that Lepore is a terrific writer. Thought provoking and enlightening. and I’m only partway in. But you might like it if you haven’t already read it.
Thank you for your lovely thoughts.
Or come here from Russia in 1920. You would see that this country is not perfect but boy is it better than living in Russia and being persecuted. We e’ve got work to do and we’ll do it. Isn’t that what America is about. Forming a more perfect union?
Very well stated and exactly what I needed today.
Beautifully written. Thank you.
We will persevere! Just like those before us.
Lisa, Your post brought tears to my eyes. Like many, I am shocked at where we are. But I take heart from the determination to change things for the better that I see in all areas of my life.
It is not easy to live with disappointment especially in ourselves. But acknowledging our shortcomings can and should be the start (or continuation ) of a path toward improvement. It is far more harmful to rationalize, ignore and prevaricate. There is value in the journey as well as the destination.
Beautifully written.
I very much appreciate your analysis of the experiences and meanings of July 4. I wonder, also, whether your points (1) and (2) are ‘violently contradictory’ or are instead inextricably linked — communally, I mean, not necessarily in the experience of any particular individual. (Your point about privilege is also very well made.) That is, if the ideals of equality and justice were not real, then the fact that our nation does not live them would not be ‘failure’ as you so truly name it. If those ideals did not exert a very real weight, their lack wouldn’t matter: we’d live in blithe (or at least silenced) allegiance to the reality of naked power. (As many have effectively done for ages.) Yet those ideas and ideals matter and have weight and themselves oppose ‘is’ with the reality of ‘should’ or ‘ought.’ It’s the very reality of the ideals that allows us to see and state their lack as ‘failure,’ as you do so beautifully, and summons us to range ourselves in support of their full realization.
Well said. I couldn’t agree more.
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