Caveat: nothing below is either immediate or final.
Essential knowledge: 1) my daughter is getting married in September of the coming year, outdoors, at a coastal site in the general vicinity of the Bay Area where it’s often but not always foggy and almost never, ever hot 2) she has not yet bought her dress.
I am beyond happy for her.
What might I wear? If she chooses something casual, maybe this? Nothing like a rainbow to remind us that light can fracture into hope. Not to mention that one must apparently wear ugly shoes to be hip but that’s easily ignored.
Or something intellectual, because I find fractals calming and also boisterous? The champagne joy of life expanding.
But that’s perhaps a tad severe, too neutral. Maybe burnt orange, as a nod to the fall season? Love me some Pleats Plus.
I think not so front and center. Nothing can take away from a bride, especially as in that dress I’d match her hair, but perhaps I want more muted, diffuse. (Also how would one wear a coat or shawl over those sleeves?) sjstubbs wore Zimmerman to her daughter’s wedding, and looked gorgeous. This is from next year’s collection. Little butterflies hang from the belt. Mariposas.
Finally, to add yet more greenery to the scenery, and assuming I were to throw pecuniary caution to the wind, behold this confection. It floats. Oh Oscar, why so delicious?
We’re going actual shopping for my daughter’s dress in November. So you can expect at least one more of these posts before September, 2025. While, weddings are dreams, even dreaming Sturdy Gals want to be warm outside for a ceremony and dinner but not overheated when we head indoors for wild dancing into the night.
Have a spectacular weekend, everyone. And let’s help get out the vote across the country.
53 Responses
You’re only just beginning your dress quest. None of them struck me as the right dress.
It is good for the Mothers to get their dresses selected, they can turn their attention to their true duties of handling family, and arrangements without having to think about what they’ll wear.
Once Daughter gets her choice down, try again.
Now I’m curious as to how you got to the conclusion, not the right dress? For me it’s so much about the context, including the venue. How are you evaluating? I’m not arguing, just fascinated by thought processes.
My vote goes with the Oscar. Love that style!
To die for, right?
Oscar or Zimmerman. Lots of fabulousness with those two options.
All the fabulosity everywhere;)
Oscar or Silk Laundry and Congratulations! I’m writing postcards this weekend to be sent to PA.
Thank you Sandy, for both the opinions and your post-writing. The world needs both.
I love them all, except the Marni (which I love for some other occasion but not mother of the bride). I mean the Oscar de la Renta is just beyond gorgeous….Such an exciting time. I ordered a dress from Erdem for my daughter’s wedding a year before the wedding. My granddaughter Pearl wears it now!!
Pearl wears the dress you wore to her mom’s wedding? That’s wonderful! I guess I’m not surprised that you and I have similar dress tastes…
How did you come up with all these fabulous choices? They are all creatively out of the mainstream of MOTB dresses. You would look great in any of these.
Just voted and I continue to text, call, and write letters. Get Out the Vote is the name of the game!
Thank you so much for your GOTV work. This is the time to get everyone on our side to the polls!
“Nothing like a rainbow to remind us that light can fracture into hope.”
Poetry.
Thank you, Flo:)
Try Saloni
Oh, yes, some of their patterned silks are lovely!
You can’t be serious! I’ve never seen such a line-up of ridiculous MOB dresses…
I agree with those who advised you to wait till the Blushing Bride has chosen her dress, so you can semi-coordinate – I further suggest you wait until the wedding color scheme has been developed, so again, you can semi-coordinate, or at least not clash!
And fear not – The Dress will appear as if by magic when you least expect it. And you and your daughter will both be beautiful…
Victoire, I’m not sure that’s very nice of you! Usually when people say hard things about my clothing choices I let the remarks pass, but you’ve been here for a long time and you knew my family of origin, so I’m responding with more emotion. Ridiculous feels like a harsh word, no? Sure you did not expect I’d wear something very traditional? In fact, my daughter doesn’t plan to have a color scheme, and I won’t be matching anything except the level of formality she sets and her wishes. I am still the same person now that my daughter is getting married; I have not morphed into some other form, at least as far as I can tell;). Also, I took a look at TeriJon, an extremely traditional vendor for MOB dresses, and look! The dresses I’ve posted here are edgier, sure, but not of a completely different species. https://www.terijon.com/collections/mother-of-the-bride-dresses?gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADtz2tgd7qgEDtJpo0F9d2oUcap4_&page=5
I am sending my abject apology as an entry in the general Comments section, so check back there in about an hour …
You’re wonderful.
I think the Silk Laundry dress is to die for!!! It would be lovely at the wedding and at other future weddings/parties, etc.
Thank you:)
I like the idea of the rainbow dress but the misalignment? artful ? alignment of the stripes bugs the heck out of my symmetry loving heart. Also love the Silk Laundry dress but wonder about the traditional caveat against wearing cream or white as it competes with the bride.
The orange is a nice nod to the season and your daughter’s hair. The others, though lovely, look like they may overwhelm your figure.
Such a tough search. Glad you’re looking at something non-traditional. I wish we plus sized gals had those choices.
Good luck!!
Love that you know how much you love symmetry:). And yes, the Silk Laundry dress might be the wrong colors for a wedding. We shall see!
The butterflies, so far.
Check and check!
You know how I feel about Pleats Please as a general proposition, so I”m throwing my $0.02 behind a similar Issey Miyake choice. Not *that* sculpture, but an analogous one; how plissé holds the autumn light! (And it layers like a dream.)
I had not considered the September light on pleats but now I will.
Remembering my deep search for the perf MOG dress when my oldest son got married (and found it! a gorgeous, long, deep teal green number), I feel impelled to toss in my 3 cents (1 cent more than usual, thanks to inflation). The Silk Laundry dress, hands down (and no, it will not compete with your daugher’s dress, because it isn’t all one color, and the cut and fabric pattern are so different). That dress will perfectly fit the setting, and you’ll look stunningly elegant without trumpeting too much high fashionista cachet. That’s a real consideration at an event where eyes should be on the bride, primarily — and when on you, should be on *you*, not your dress. The Marni and Miyake seem too much, and the Zimmerman feels too rigorous (despite the color and pattern). Save Oscar for spring.
I love your creative eye, and look forward to seeing other candidates!
I still remember how gorgeous your daughter’s dress was at *your* wedding. :)
Thanks, Alex. I’m glad you found a dress you really liked :). I agree, the eyes need to be on the bride. That’s why these are just ideas. I don’t expect to be wearing any of them, although it could happen.
It’s October 20th and due to be 79 degrees here today. Fall, I think, so sadly, has changed.
Congratulations! I can imagine you in each of these dresses in different settings and I am sure you and your daughter will be fabulously harmonious. I don’t particularly care about symmetry, but the misalignment of the colors at the center front of the Marni dress, right at the waist in particular, aggravates my eye. It may vary from dress to dress and it is your eye that matters. just knowing it would make me feel uncomfortable, and yet knowing your edgy style you would probably pull it off beautifully.
Thank you! I know what you mean about the misalignment. You’d have to mean it to wear it;)
Lisa, Don’t let anyone bully you into the typical MOB dress. You be yourself, in your gorgeous individual style. Your daughter knows you and will love whatever you wear. I love the fact she has no color scheme!
Thanks! My daughter can bully me, that’s the only one who gets a bully pass in this case. The ceremony and dinner are outside, right on the edge of the Pacific, so what color scheme could one choose in that context? To me the Pacific is enough.
I’m all about the Zimmerman – flowy, floaty, leaves+hearts (autumn wedding!), dangling butterflies – provided it fit you nicely and allowed for full movement (vitally important for dancing! but sometimes more-fitted sleeves restrict it).
But yes, probably there will be more dress harvests.
(I will also add that a different blogger had the most luscious – but probably far too warm for CA autumn – Mother of the Groom dress I have ever seen: https://jennifermurch.com/2022/01/05/a-new-dress/ It is likely more my jam than your jam, however, being less structured [and, gasp, knit instead of woven]. But! I include the link just in case it sparks ideas or perhaps has variations which might suit your inclinations/tastes/colors. :-) )
Definitely more harvests, all of which would include the capacity for full movement;). This was, as they say, “directional.” The knit is pretty! At this point I’m mostly thinking patterns, I have no idea why.
You are taking some hits. I took the tone of your post from your opening line [“Caveat: nothing below is either immediate or final.”], and read the rest with that in mind. Like: this is my inspiration board.
Here’s something crazy – I was trying to remember your Kane tape dress, imagining a remake could be interesting [like you remade your wedding dress]. So, to refresh my memory, I put “Kane tape dress” into Google, clicked Images, and guess who popped up on my screen? YOU, and your 2013 post with you [wearing the Kane w/ your biker jacket] in the hotel doorway! WILD!
You were right. The caveat meant, “This is the beginning of my thought process.” LOL. I had no idea people had such strong opinions about what a mother of the bride must wear. And hey, I’m Google Famous! Booyah! Those Louboutins were great, and then I outgrew them which seems wildly unjust. I don’t like their shoes now because they use what feels like cheap stiff leather. Blech.
I know this isn’t a chat board [but!], you always take us back to culture – customs and rules embedded for generations. Given only the first syllable of “Wedd….” and up pops that culture’s scripted material. I think this is what you’re getting, ie Commenters’ individual MOB cultural rules. I blurted, sorry!
Blurting and chatting and talking and discussing, all welcome! Yes, there’s just clearly more weight on the role than I imagined. Living in California will do that you maybe? And I was thinking, maybe the election is putting me on edge, so I react more strongly than I would in other times. Lesson learned, don’t call a High WASP ridiculous, it’s maybe the ultimate insult LOL.
Interesting that your picks are mostly patterned and long. Will a shawl be enough for warmth and not too fiddly, or would a jacket be better? I don’t think of you as the floaty type – my picture of you would be more like your Dries Van Noten but longer.
How lucky you are that your daughter will, to the extent time permits, participate in your dress selection! It will be great to see what you choose. As the MOG, I would hear (not from my sons) that my role was to “wear beige and shut up”. Both times I picked three dresses that fit the directions I was given (short, cocktail) and sent pictures so my sons could vet them with the brides. Both picked my favorites – a red sleeveless and an off-the-shoulder gold, respectively – and the fact that their fiancées got to weigh in was a big help in building our relationships. Plus I got to wear two great dresses!
“Wear beige and shut up!” That’s so wild. I’m very glad that your sons and their brides picked your favorites and that the collaboration was good for everyone. I do gravitate to narrow shifts, so that makes sense. I was imagining the OdlR in a small size, so that it would be more like a long shirt dress than a caftan. And the fabric, which is always a hook for me, slays.
As for the weather, it’s so hard to tell these days? It might be cold and foggy, dow I’d walk up the aisle in just the dress and then sit down and put on a coat;). Or it might be in the 70s!
To the O de L: I zoomed in as far as I could and was thrilled to see the two panels in the front are two different prints, as are the two sleeves! The back panels are the same print, but oh that front!
TDF, baby, TDF:)
Dearest Lisa,
My words were totally out of line, and I apologize unreservedly for any form of distress I have caused you. Thank you for taking the time and trouble to explain why you found those words to be so hurtful.
Perhaps my ill-expressed surprise at your “line of MOB” dresses reflects the fact that I have a picture posted on a cork board of you and your wonderful children, along with other people I care about, which I glance at almost every day. You three are pictured at your own wedding just a few years ago, all of you looking elegant and romantic, and with you in particular looking so ethereally beautiful, that your choice of more “edgy” attire for your daughter’s wedding came as something of a shock.
Well, if any woman can carry off that pleated orange number, for example, it would be YOU – so I hereby raise an early glass of wedding champagne in your honor. I hope you will accept my heartfelt apologies, and my equally heartfelt wishes for a happy day next September!
xoxo –
Victoire
Victoire, this is the best apology I’ve ever seen in my whole life, much less received. I accept it wholeheartedly and with gratitude. May this be an example for me next time I need to do the same. I am so, so touched you keep that photo on your board. It makes me feel the thread of life and history acutely. And finally, maybe if I explain that my dress worked for the elegant, marble SF City Hall, and my daughter’s venue is less formal, verging in its way on edgy, in fact explain that to myself, it will make clearer why I chose those “directionally” for this wedding. xoxoxoxox. Thank you very much.
Thank you in turn for your kind words. Feel free to just “edge” on down the fashion road, in whatever “direction” you choose – just don’t fall off any “coastal” cliffs or get lost in any wedding-plans “fog.” But most important, have fun! This is a special time.
I could picture you instantly in the Silk Laundry dress — it’s smart and fun like you, and the bias-cut silk would be super flattering and comfortable. The Oscar is truly divine, though, and would be perfect if your daughter chooses something slightly more formal and money is of no concern. I had to think about it overnight and come back to weigh in! It’s such fun to dream and imagine — thank you for letting us dream with you. You’ll look lovely in anything you choose. I hope you’re having a beautiful weekend. ❤
My pleasure, Jess. The Silk Laundry dress appeals to my native being and I thank you so much for finding that to be both smart and fun.
You’ve got lots of dress options. Given the unknowns about the weather, maybe you should have two dresses selected and the final choice will be based on the weather.
Wedding dresses run the gambit. Lots of choices again. I suspect your daughter’s choice of dress might influence your final dress selection.
November is coming fast and wedding dress shopping sounds like such a good time for you and your daughter.
Absolutely. My daughter’s dress will set the tone. In fact, she tried some on in Seattle (I was there by FaceTime) and one was sleek and classic and one was edgy and fun, and I think my choices must have echoed that although since I am likely not to wear any of these the memories of her on my little phone were resonating.
Love, love, love the Silk Laundry dress! I feel I that it fits in with your aesthetic and is elegant while also less stuffy formal, if that makes sense. I look forward to seeing what else you find.
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