From what I see and hear this week, if you’re reeling from our national political experience you’re not alone. Almost everyone I’ve talked to is wondering first and foremost how not to spiral into despair. There, I’ve said it. So if that’s you, take heart. Like-minded people sit with you by the fire.
We’re all going to have our different ways of facing what we hope will be only four years of this. I am not one to shame for temperament, so if you’re under the covers I hope your blankets are warm. If you can’t bear to talk about it, I understand.
But here’s my particular strategy, depending on what’s happening at any given moment.
- Something horrific gets said: Ignore, nothing has happened yet.
- Something horrific gets reported as though it were normal: Unsubscribe from the reporting outlet, or unfollow if it’s social media. Move to Reuters, the BBC, or AP, along with some carefully chosen niche media/social media contributors like The American Prospect, Amy Siskind and Heather Cox Richardson.
- Something horrific starts to happen: Recoil. These are the moments of panic and rage. Take a deep breath, go to trusted news/analysis sources, try to understand possible implications. Adjust worldview to include that which we had not expected. (The shutdown of a lot of NIH work would fall into this category.) Keep eyes open for updates to understand if the event becomes more or less serious than first reports indicated.
- Reward those who are fighting, and plan my own actions as best I can
- Short-term
- Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez seems to be one of the few in Congress willing to speak out openly and acknowledge that working across the aisle is unlikely to succeed. So I donated to her. Short-term, as I said, but helps me feel steadier.
- Learn the phone number to report ICE actions in my neighborhood, if any.
- Longer-term
- Still learning Spanish, have found the access point to tutor in Hispanic-majority high schools, will begin the process to sign up for program.
- Look ahead to upcoming electoral work. Here that means the House elections of 2026. I think I’ll poke around and research which district I’ll volunteer for this go-round.
- Short-term
- And if we have the capacity, be kind and warm and appreciative to those who are carrying on in the face of what must feel impossible, and to those who simply feel as you do.
Towards the first objective, here’s a story.
I’ve finally applied for Social Security. The website says applicants will hear back in 30 days, and I’d heard nothing. I called, multiple times, only to sit on hold for two hours (yes TWO hours). Finally, actually worried they’d given up working altogether (understandable) I asked on social media, “Has anyone spoken to someone at Social Security lately?” I was reassured; the next time I called I opted for the “call me back” option; I got a phone call from the nicest woman; all was explained to me in the most human tone I’ve heard from a telephone service person in months; I felt huge relief. There are still humans. And I told her she’d made my day, that I imagined working in the federal government might not be easy right now, that it was so great to talk to her, and that her work mattered. She thanked me. Suddenly we were both tearful.
Everything felt a little better.
Towards the second objective, I appreciate you all. Just knowing you’re out there helps. I have not even an inkling of answers, but I can manage myself into a semblance of calm, with a plan that feels possible and maybe even useful. And I can type.
Have a good weekend, everyone. As they say, we still need and still deserve joy.
51 Responses
I love your story about the Social Security representative. “Make someone’s day” might be a new daily goal for me… a lifebuoy, if you will.
I’m very thankful for your friendship, your thoughtful posts and our weekly fireside chats here, Lisa. I hope your weekend is full of joy. ❤
Thank you, Jess. And I love that as a goal. Some of us have a gift for kindness <3.
Thank you for today’s column. I feel seen and I sit by the fire with you. Here’s my self care tip I pass on…go out and attend a live music event. Whatever genre that makes you smile.
Last night, I went to see Three Dog Night. A sold-out crowd sang at the top of their lungs, “Joy to the world, all the boys and girls, joy to the fishes in the deep blue see, joy to you and me”. Magical.
And today, I feel ready to tackle the world after this sh*t show week.
What a vision, that crowd, singing, full-throated. Thank you.
I cancelled both of my subscriptions to WAPO and NYT months ago, even before the election based on their reporting. I’m relying on the BBC these days. Dark times, indeed.
Dark times. I hope the BBC illuminates somewhat.
Plugging Pro Publica and Jess Craven’s Chop Wood Carry Water for news and inspiration.
Having struggled with depression and anxiety for decades, I have a bare bones to-do list in my planner for those days I can’t make myself do anything. Of the four items, two of them are “breathe” and “say something nice.” Love your exchange with the staffer at SSA.
Forming and maintaining ties is resistance. Kindness is resistance. Joy is resistance.
I didn’t now about Jess Craven, thank you so much. Your strategy born of depression and anxiety, about which I am very sorry, is now useful for us all. Bare bones to-do lists it is. And ties to those who are kind and can bring you joy.
Walnut Creek office is pretty good if you need to go in person then you can swing by here for lunch!Just a thought!
It’s definitely getting to me. I unsubscribed before the inauguration to some of the people I followed that kept me informed only because it’s really really bothering me and not good for my health. I still see a little bit so I’m not completely ignorant as to what’s going on but I find it just appalling. I’m battling with myself to get off the social media the one site I do! i’ve been on it since the get-go so I think that’s like 15 years! i’m cooking today. I’m trying to stay away from it.
You need to protect your health. And I’d love to come by for lunch some day. Connection and company.
Thank you for posting this. In a world so dark it’s a good thing to know that there are those of us out there/here who are grappling as best we can. Your words of encouragement and strategies are priceless to our despite states of being. Write on, love. We need to hear these messages!
You are welcome. In a dark world, knowing that we are not alone, I find to be the best possible light. And I will keep writing; I do not think I could stop at this point. Thank you.
Thank you for this Lisa. I have been following you for a long time but hardly ever comment. I really needed this today.
You’re welcome. All we can do is try to help each other xo.
Thank you for today’s column. It’s just what I needed after reading our local newspaper. I keep telling myself, it’s only 4 years. Heaven help us!
You’re welcome! We do need all the help we can get/muster up.
Lisa, you (and your readers) are a light in this storm. I am here looking for a lifeboat in this time of insanity. I’m grateful for your weekly chats.
Your plan of action inspires me.
I’m grateful for your presence. Thank you. And let’s all pass inspiration to each other. Those who voted this man in seem to unite via mutual hatred of others, whether for true reasons or wholly invented. It seems we need to unite in fondness for each other and for those in need.
The next 4 years are going to be chaotic.
I have chosen to work with only one news outlet and that is the “Economist” magazine. This magazine is outstanding and it covers the news/events worldwide. Articles are unbiased and fact checking is outstanding. My observation is, the reporting is trustworthy and reliable. For me, it is important to have an understanding of what is happening in the world. Even when it is not a pretty picture.
Thanks for the reminder about the Economist. Nobody could accuse that publication of being a leftist voice, and their reporting is very good. I agree, I want the facts, and analysis based on expertise.
Thank you. That is all–just thank you!
You are very, very welcome.
I am a retired Federal employee. I already have experienced problems with OPM, ( office of personnel management)my health benefits and Medicare. Many of my friends are / were with the OIG( office of inspector general)
To scream the importance of that department isn’t enough. The brain drain that is occurring cannot be reversed. This is scary for me- as I am afraid it’s too close. To just sit and watch- I’m afraid it is too late. Sorry to be a fatalist- but hang on, it’s going to be a bumpy ride
I can imagine it would be impossible to distance yourself from this business. I was thrilled to see the letter the OIG wrote back saying, “Nope. You haven’t done this legally.” The president may prevail in the end, but if we keel over now it feels unlikely the system will be prepared to resist all the way through as best it can.
Thank you for your words of solace. I really don’t have any words after this week, thankful for those who do..
You are welcome, and your presence is enough.
Very good post. Will follow all advice!
Coming to SF in late March and would love to see you.
Xo
Mackenzie
Thank you! I’d love to see you in March!
Thank you for all of your suggestions. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for the federal workers who are seeing the rug of process and colleagiality pulled out from under them. In general, I’ve found government workers (even IRS workers) to be courteous and helpful. However, I haven’t needed to call anyone since the new administration.
With regard to SSA — I live in Sonoma, and I’ve had good luck with the SSA office in Santa Rosa.
You’re so welcome. I feel for the federal workers too. To be maligned and called all kinds of things as they simply try to help people, for the most part. And thanks for the suggestion about Santa Rosa, going forward.
Thanks for this — practical advice that fully acknowledges the horror but echoes Chomsky’s assertion that “optimism is a strategy for making a better future.” In my Italian class here in Vancouver (Canada) this morning, we were talking about the Nobel prize-winning scientist Rita Levi-Montalcini (1909-2012) who contributed so much to discovery and understanding of the nerve growth factor (important in your daughter’s field, I guess!) — despite discrimination on basis of, first gender, and then during the fascist rule in Italy, on basis of race/religion. . . So much of that kind of work threatened again by a similar set of forces, it seems. . . Forces that were overcome then, and we can hope, will be again. . . . (btw, your Canadian neighbours still love you although we will never want to be your 51st state. Wish I could put a laughing face emoji here, but seriously, not that funny xoxo
I love the philosophical perspective. And the history. So yes to tempered, clear-eyed optimism, which acknowledges and watches out for indications that this may all turn out very badly. Maybe nerve growth is a metaphor for all of what we may hope for. I’m glad Canada hasn’t written us off. I wouldn’t want to be our 51st state either…
Even four years is too long if you’re a federal employee and your family depends on your employment. What’s more concerning is talk of eliminating term limits. But for now, we’ll take it one day at a time.
I think of all the families now at risk from these cuts and I can only sigh and hope we find a way to take care of them. One day at a time.
I fully share the angst and horror and a determined not to let cretinous developments steal my joy, nor my determination to resist in my own way. But – one thing I am not understanding is the unsubscribing from the NYT and WaPo. If anyone wants to “hurt” Mr Bezos, unsubscribing from Prime and shopping locally seems much more targeted.
My lack of understanding stems from two things: 1) what are they not covering or how would you like the tone to be different? I don’t feel like this week’s events were normalized, even on the reporting side, and the editorial and op-ed’s have been offered lots on analysis and context that have broadened my understanding of consequences; and, 2) where do you go to get the depth of reporting about things other than the political, such as climate change, international affairs, culture and society? The Economist, Guardian, etc. don’t fill those holes.
We are going to need a free press throughout this and after this. I guess I don’t understand the point of starving it.
Thanks for the thoughtful consideration I know this community will provide.
Gah – sorry for the typos and extra words!
Not to worry! Here’s my thinking. I unsubscribed from the NYT when they focused so strongly on Biden’s age, while treating Trump IMO as though he were not threatening to completely break the rule of law. I unsubscribed from the WaPo when Bezos decided not to endorse Harris as had been planned. I was too angry to pay them any longer. In the time since, I find that facts come to me nevertheless, via social media. So in terms of analysis and commentary, I now look to independent and qualified historians, Kevin Kruse, Kathleen Belew, and Heather Cox Richardson, for example, and some more niche outlets like the American Prospect, as I said. I do think we need a free media; I no longer believe that those publications attempting to appeal to the “middle of the country,” can do it. At the moment, the middle of the country is very, very small, and not approximated by op-eds from extremes on either sides, which is what sells papers.
Thank you. Good points. The “both sides” and “but what about…” problem. I see those. Reading your response I feel sadness and realize my reluctance to examine (and change) my media habits is actually my reluctance to face that those outlets which have brought me so much pleasure, are no longer up to the task. I feel that as a loss. But – good points.
I’m on a news fast since the election. I have people in my life that are following the news so they will tell me what I absolutely need to know, if anything. His last term aged me and I’m not doing that again.
I have not been on social media since I found out some of my relatives think Hillary Clinton is the equivalent of Hitler. That would be 2016 when he got elected the first time.
I’m feeling good – sending love to the world, meditating more, and living as mindfully as I can.
Another example of how to make one’s way through what lies ahead.
SSA has been grossly understaffed for years now. Called there last summer and the recording before signaling the wait time mentioned insufficient staffing and indicated that if you were calling about a disability application, it wouldn’t be processed for 6 months. Whoa. I find Heather Cox Richardson a good source for keeping up with current events and appreciate her expertise at putting them in a historical context. As depressing as it is to know humans have done all this before, she often illuminates how humans found their better selves in times like these, which always gives me a glimmer of hope.
I didn’t realize the understaffing was so endemic. I heard a message about about disability applications, and I didn’t make a note, but I think the wait was something like 9 months now. I agree, Heather’s history helps, as does her thoughtful tone.
We had issues with SSA over the summer, just called on Friday and had a call back inside of 10 minutes. I think it is a hit of miss type of place. Back in the 1990’s I knew a guy who worked in SSA and he would brag about his office working slow Monday to Friday, so he could work weekends and collect time and half. Seemed it was a thing back then. Their holiday party was always over the top lavish in those years.
I cannot even imagine a government agency office having an over the top holiday party!
I certainly saw some of that during my time in Silicon Valley tech companies:).
I really needed to see this today, thank you. Over the past week I’ve seen so much kindness; it will help me face the weeks and months ahead. I intend to play it forward.
You are very welcome. I’m encouraged to hear that you’ve seen kindness too. Thank you for paying it forward.
Thank you. Knowing I am not alone helps a lot.
You’re welcome. It helps me too. I am learning that many people are working in their lanes to understand, combat, and prepare as this goes along. We are not alone.
SSA is massively understaffed–particularly in rural areas. My son died unexpectedly in October. My DiL applied for survivor benefits–much needed income–or I should say she tried to apply. Not allowed to show up and apply in person at her local office (a 38 mile drive one way). She finally got through by phone after multiple tries and was given a Zoom appointment–for the first week of January. Three months, just for a zoom call. Then, the day before the appointment, they called and cancelled. No reason. She asked the person to help her reschedule and was told she had to call back on another line. She’s been calling for almost three weeks. Crickets. For survivor benefits.
And now a federal hiring freeze. Hard not to despair. But we try.
Mary, I am so, so sorry your son is gone. Such a loss.
It must be very hard for your daughter-in-law to both grieve and cope with these obstacles. For survivor benefits, can she apply/has she applied online? I did apply for retirement benefits online, so was only trying to follow-up with a phone call. But if she can’t make any progress all, so incredibly difficult. Very hard not to despair. I hope you have some support for your own grief. All my thoughts go out to you.
Thank you, Lisa. Today would have been his 47th birthday.