Privilege Blog

The Brides of Wedding Blogs, Part 1

I have read a lot of bride wedding blogs. A lot. And I confess to having done so originally with my High WASP upturned nose firmly in the air. And truth be told I still have to yank that nose down hard. And real truth be told, sometimes I am weak and I surrender and I feel disdain. As I have said before, it is hard for High WASPs to put aside their disdain for the tacky, the cheesy, the overtly sentimental, the overly-coordinated, to say nothing of tawdry and unecessarily earnest color combinations.

But I would be letting the side down (sports term, derived I think primarily from cricket) if I left it there. Bride wedding blogs offer a glimpse into alternate cultures, personalities, and aesthetics in a world where most of us build social circles that reflect our own values. Reading bride blogs is like taking a shower in another country for the first time. You reevaluate a lot of things you had taken for granted.

Wedding blogs make very clear that judging someone on first impressions is a bad idea. For example, when I first found out that there are entire forums devoted to brides getting married at Walt Disney properties, my initial surprise was only exceeded by my ultimate surprise that Walt Disney offered wedding packages in the first place. High WASPs do not at first blush think that weddings at Walt Disney properties are in good taste. High WASPs would really not even want to say the word Disney and wedding in the same breath. However, Carly’s blog convinced me that if I were young again it might be possible that I would become best friends with someone getting married at a Disney property, even if I couldn’t quite throw off the High WASP shackles and don a set of white Minnie Mouse ears and veil myself.
Then there’s Jenna. Jenna writes for Weddingbee. She has her own blog as well. Without Jenna’s blog I would be completely ignorant of what it is like to be an early-20’s LDS bride – marrying a Polish immigrant trained as an IT Systems Engineer. And I would not know that that a Mormon small town girl could bring on the diva. All of which seems like a pretty specific and small set of knowledge to bother acquiring. But it’s not the particular. It’s the general.
I’m sure there’s an uplifting message somewhere nearby but it would not be possible for me to go there. High WASP issue.

5 Responses

  1. That’s because The Universal is always deeply particular. Always. And the “universal” is of course nothing but mush.

    I hadn’t thought about wedding blogs this way. It’s wise, I think.

  2. So funny. I actually deleted a sentence which said just that. The particular is the universal. And by the end of this week I’m handing the wedding wisdom wand back to you, OK?

  3. A lot of people keep referring to me as someone who brings “diversity” into the blogging world. It’s a funny thing, because mormons (specifically those who live in Utah) are absolutely the least diverse group of people I know. We band together very tightly, and sadly, we don’t let others outside of our “group” in very easily.

    I try not to be like this, but it’s a huge part of my culture. Your comments, and the comments of others make me think that maybe I am succeeding at transcending those norms.

    P.S.-You picked one of my favorite pictures from the wedding!

  4. I thought that picture probably conveyed your personality. And for me, a High WASP old hippie corporate exec Democrat in Silicon Valley, yes, you count as diverse:). As I guess I would in your IRL circles…right?

  5. I recently came accross your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I dont know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


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