Privilege Blog

What The Mother Of The Bride Cares About

Bride: Claire Pettibone. Images, clockwise from upper left hand corner: Camilla Flowers, In the Now, Flickr, WeddingBee, Jerusalem Tallit, Dempsey and Carroll

Right off the bat I have to say I am NOT the mother of a bride at the moment. My daughter is 21 and just graduating college, so I don’t even WANT to be the mother of a bride right now. However, it is never too early to start daydreaming. I love weddings, as I have said, and therefore if I want to imagine my daughter’s wedding, I will. Actually, I will probably imagine several versions, just because I can.

So how can you tell this is a mother of the bride imagination artifact? Notice that it is all about the bride. Notice that we do NOT care about favors, photobooths, guest books, match books, seating cards. We just care about our daughter, how beautiful she is, and how everything around her will serve to highlight that fact. Well, I guess we also care about the groom. However in that arena I do not even daydream. That’s her business. But the accoutrements? Hell yes I’m in her business.

Clues to why this looks the way it does. 1. My mother lives in Santa Barbara. 2. It’s possible that images are being featured that highlight tall, slim, redheads. 3. High WASPs are afraid of invitations unless they are classic or ironic. Which is why we love Crane, like this. Classic doesn’t have to mean stuffy.

5 Responses

  1. What accoutrements do you mean? Do you mean your clothing & accessories? Do you have a little idea about what you would like to wear? Do you & your daughter share the same "vision" for her future wedding?
    I don't know of any ironic invitations? What are they?

  2. By accoutrements I meant the decorations. But in fact, I have barely discussed my daughter’s future wedding with her. I have no idea at all what I would wear, lol. Since at this point it’s still imaginary. In real life since I devote huge amounts of mental and emotional capacity trying to be a good mother despite my failings she will make the choices. I, however, insist on my maternal right to be in on the planning.

  3. Ah, if only all mothers of the bride shared your inclination to be primarily concerned with making their daughter beautiful rather than re-living/creating their own dream wedding!

  4. Thanks. Don’t worry. I’m a bad mother all the time. I’m just glad that when I manage to be a good mother I do it in public. In case text is erasing all ironic tone from my reply here, I’m kidding because I’m embarassed by my liking for praise.

  5. Yikes does your daughter know you’re already dreaming about her wedding….?!

    She’s gonna shack up with a hipster and never do the thing ;)

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