Privilege Blog

An Imaginary Wedding In June

Does everybody love a wedding?

So fraught these days. Divorce statistics. Wedding industry spend-a-thons. Marriage inequality. Let’s pause for some imaginary festivities. Because it’s June, because we can. Imagine a very young bride, doting parents, all archetypes intact.

She’ll shop for a dress with her mom, the dresses lined up and ready to rustle.

Settling on cotton, she imagines how breezes will play with her skirt.

She chooses her college chapel for the ceremony, as she doesn’t yet know much else, and is going to assume that life proceeds linearly. Perhaps it will.

A young bride might want to carry white flowers.

Not yet having learned to value imperfection.

And afterwards, she’ll hope everything sparkles. Maybe in the chandeliers.

Maybe with the help of what the British call “fairy lights.” Such a great word.

But we, prone to deconstruction as we are, step back, and look for the over-arching principle. It’s our lovely human habit of keeping going. We connect, continue, prevail. We do so based, as often as possible, on what we call love. And on the understanding that life can be quite hard.

Time for toasts. Glasses clinked, everyone turns to you, expectantly.

What say you on this June day?

For more June wedding posts, please visit Splenderosa, and the other bloggers this month, to be found here. I believe I’ve fixed the earlier wonky formatting. I know I’ve added a few extra images.

Cotton dress via Cotton, The Fabric of Our Lives, from The Cotton Bride
White bouquet from saipua via Camilla Styles
Fairy lights via Jason Morley on Flickr
All others by me

International Blog Party

29 Responses

  1. Absolutely lovely. I am suffering from just continuing and prevailing at the moment. Beauty and tradition have a wonderful way of easing the soul. Thank you

  2. I’m sorry, but right now I’m just trying to concentrate on the knowledge that every marriage has it’s ups and downs, and that the downs don’t necessarily have to end in divorce.

    That’s a lovely bouquet, though.

  3. Oh, how I knew you would totally overwhelm me with your beautiful intellect and grace. I absolutely love this, Lisa. Those thoughts are so profound, wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could only impart our wisdom and experience into our children and others their age. But, alas, they learn on their own time as you said. I am so happy you are with “By Invitation Only” and have been since the beginning. You add the perfect counter-point to our lovely international group. xx’s

  4. Looking back, with the wisdom of hindsight and reflecting on marriage is certainly a topic for great thought. So wisely said… love and our constant perseverance when the going gets tough is what keeps partnerships going… Great post Lisa.. xv

  5. It’s a day that relies on faith (not necessarily in any higher power) and hope, as much as on love, it seems to me, not just for the young couple but for all they choose to support them and to celebrate the wishfulness and the commitment of their vows. Lovely post, sweet dress. . .

  6. Beautifully expressed as always, Lisa. Perhaps the hope love inspires is the most wonderful part of a wedding — for, as you noted, all those who attend.

    Thank you for the perfect “assignment” subject and your magnificent deconstructing thereof.


  7. Oh but I love imaginary weddings. (Although of course I love the real ones even more.) This imaginary wedding? Lovely.

    Especially the fairy lights.

  8. I once bought a cotton summer wedding dress for a prom dress. Did you see the article in the NYT recently about brides? That is, both spouses are women. One of the problems cited is not stepping on one another’s train. Your dress solves the problem beautifully.

  9. What a perfectly timed post, as I will be shopping with my mother, aunt, and Nana for my wedding dress this weekend! And yes, I do hope everything does sparkle on my wedding day next May. :)

  10. I was 40 when I last let hope overtake my soul…and I am a firm believer in it to this day. I wore white…though I had three daughters.

  11. beautiful imaginings… Thank you for keeping the Dream alive in words and pictures. We can never have enough inspiration, or thoughts of faith and love.

  12. I would say, here is hope eternal, and finding and hanging on to all the joy that life and love, have to offer. :) xo isa

  13. Lisa, I hope the young girls parents have brought her up with a belief that choosing a partner for life is more important than choosing the right gown. And while the flowers and gown will both fade, a marriage is a commitment for a life time! Love that is a choice and not an emotion is the truer love! Love is hard work and like you said “we connect, we continue, we prevail”… my husband and I have been prevailing and loving for 30 years!

  14. Having just given a wedding, we are very sweet on them. White wedding gowns that float in the breeze; bouquets filled with pale pink peonies, white roses, and pink sea urchins; grand uncles officiating; sea breezes ruffling the rose petals strewn on the lawn; and sparklers to wave goodbye.

  15. Oh do you not call them fairy lights? I have them strung up in my back garden, they are so pretty at night time.

  16. Ahh, I thought I was not a wedding traditionalist by any stretch of the imagaination but just learned that I am, with respect to one element: I was married in my university chapel as well. Am rather pleased to learn of this tradition!

  17. Some people head to the Street to unwind from thesis stress. My friend was instead planning her wedding, which included reserving a spot at the Princeton Chapel. This post reminded me of her.

    And a belated congratulations to your son for graduating! Does today mark his first day as an official alumnus? :) Welcome to the ranks!

  18. Hi Lisa. I am sooo late in commenting ~ later than any bride has ever arrived but alas I just had to visit ~ Your thoughts as always are just so provocative and accurate! I am always entranced when I come here and hopefully I can get back to regular blog visits after selling houses etc etc!! Such a load of admin!!


  19. I say “Cheers!”. To optimism and to all. May luck, love and laughter rule on this brisk June day and for many days to come.

  20. Ah, weddings;-)
    A very complex subject indeed.
    What works for one doesn’t work for the other, but one thing is certain. A delightful mixture of closeness and distance is the order of the day;-)

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