Privilege Blog

Wedding Planning Missive #2

Much has been accomplished, in the land of Planning To Wed. I include all the links for those who enjoy wedding details. To whit.

    1. Date – Mid-August ✓
    2. Ceremony Venue – San Francisco City Hall
    3. Photographer – Emilia-Jane Schobeiri
    4. Invitations – Paperless Post for email, Precious Bugarin for a few paper invitations
    5. Officiant  ✓
    6. Vows
    7. Rings – Tiffany Platinum & Diamond 5-Stone Band for Lisa, Family Heirloom 24K Band for Significant Other
    8. Folding Chairs from City Hall
    9. Dinner Location – Local restaurant, not sure yet exactly which, negotiations pending
    10. Dress – Under consideration: Christopher Kane Tape Dress, Nina Ricci Floral Lace (turned out that A-line is not my best silhouette), Romona Keveza 293, worn with wide fabric belt in place of sparkly, shortened to the ankle, one layer of tulle removed, other layers irregular, underskirt shortened to above knee. Yes, that’s a lot of alterations. Thinking now to wear the Tape Dress the night before, and Keveza the day of. I may still change my mind.
    11. Best Daughter’s Dress – This from Kate Spade is under review. However, she needs smaller than what she ordered, so the jury is out until she can try the right size.
    12. Best Daughter’s Shoes
    13. Best Son’s Suit – Black Ralph Lauren from Barney’s ✓
    14. Best Son’s Tie – Thinking Hermes
    15. Significant Other’s clothes – Luckily, he is highly capable
    16. My Shoes – In first place so far:  these from Delman. Already tried and returned: these from Rene Caovilla’s daughter (too small, will try a larger size), these in the color “Poudre” from Valentino via Forward from Elyse Walker , a great luxury clothing source (Significant Other did not like the Rockstuds, sad face) these from Stuart Weitzman (too high), and these from Rockport,  too high and too crude. Heaven forbid I’m going to have to go into a real life shoe department.
    17. Wedding License
    18. Hotel Reservations ✓
    19. Wedding Day Coordinator – Secret guest star
    20. Flowers – Sarah from saipua
    21. A Cake – Thinking about Oakland Bakes, or the Bi-Rite (salted caramel, yum)
    22. Music?  – May have located an erhu player, with help from Elsa Louise (she comments here, thank you!) and Lauren Alwan on Twitter.
    23. Restaurant Place Cards – Thinking the immediate family kids in attendance can write guest names on these. As I said, it’s a very small wedding. Our commenter Flo gave me the idea. ✓
    24. Water Bottles For Ceremony – Never mind. My sister says the guests are adults who can be responsible for their own hydration.
    25. Table Cloth For Table For Water Bottles For Ceremony – Never mind, see above.
    26. Water Bottle Labels  – Really never mind.
    27. Hair appointment
    28. White bobby pins – I have this idea of some sort of hair decoration made with criss-crossing bridal white bobby pins. I may change my mind. ✓
    29. Good makeup sponges – I will do my own makeup. In 30 years, only one person has ever done a better job than I do myself, and I’m not in the mood to sit still and look up while someone else comes close to my eyes with pencils. ✓

I guess now I have to rent some chairs, see a clerk about a license, and think of a few words. None of which seems too daunting, but one never knows.

61 Responses

  1. You are well in schedule, all the big decisions are made ( except the wedding dress + shoes ), so there is plenty of time for detailing.
    I still like the CK dress best, it has just enough of ” that something ” in it to make it perfect.
    We don´t celebrate the day – before over here, so doubles are not needed.
    Your ring choices are good.
    Neither would I like to have someone touch my face, never have had a makeup done.
    I´d also do my own hair, but since you have long hair, I understand your choice.
    Things are getting exciting..

  2. The vision of you in the Romona Keveza 293 with the sounds of the erhu carried on the breeze would be absolutely sublime.

    1. More than sublime with the Romona Keveza. Just another country heard from here, you’re the bride wear whatever speaks to you, but Tape Dress says perfect for evening before to me. I’ve had great luck with Delman’s.

      You’re plans are coming together beautifully. So happy for you.

  3. My sister did my make-up, since any make-up at all was more than I usually wore.

    Thankfully our caterer had candles onboard for the wedding cake, since our youngest guests assumed since there was cake, there would be wishes and candles.

  4. At first glance, I was unimpressed with Oakland Bakes. However, after perusing their site and reading how their cakes are baked and the ingredients used, I have done a complete reversal. VERY nice!

  5. First, you are so dear to include us in these really exciting planning stages, thank you.

    Second, you will be beyond magnificent in your ingeniously-redesigned RK293. Beneath all your other gifts sits a latent-no-more design talent, the dress is divine.

    Third, I am all the way across the United States of America, sitting at my desk, with a wide grin on my face. So happy for you and SO.

    Fourth, who here does not wish to be the secret guest star at the wedding? What a “giveaway” that would be! Remembering back to LPC’s sing-for-your-supper giveway in recent past, she’ll probably make us earn it somehow. And what would WE wear? I shall fantasize….

    1. :)

      I believe this will be the last wedding missive until after the event. This is not a wedding blog, after all. And after the event, I plan on one summary post, not a long series of details.

      Oh wait. Unless we decide to hold a an online “hen party” as they call it in the UK. We could imagine an event, some activities, and the outfits of course:).

  6. I *love* the Romona Kezeva dress!

    I, too, did my own makeup for my wedding. Why pay someone to do what I can do better for free? The most important part was the religious skin care regimen the two months before. Wear as little makeup as possible, don’t let your face get dry, wear hats everywhere. Definitely do a few trial runs before the Big Day; I did three in the weeks leading up to the wedding.

  7. Well, this is a post-wedding question rather than wedding planning, but I am wondering where the happy couple will reside after getting married? SF or the ‘burbs?

  8. Making placecards is definitely fun. We made 90, in badge format (yours is on the way). It took myself and one of my bridesmaids, on two separate evenings after work (Deri cooked and provided wine). It was one of my favourite bits about our wedding prep! And I loved them on the day, and they went down a storm with our guests (particularly the small ones).

    I too *love* the Romona Kezeva dress. Particularly with your alterations.

  9. You are hilarious! In a way I like re good makeup sponges – I did my own for my small wedding as well. No need to have 10 layers caked on and look like a stranger, and PAY for the experience too.

    Love the erhu player. You go.

  10. I’m so impressed. You’ve really got it together. Love the Romona dress with the alterations you suggest. Those Delman shoes are so feminine and divine.

    Sponges, the ones everyone raves about are the “blender sponges.” You can get them at Norstroms or Sephora.

    It’s great fun seeing this all come together. Thanks for including us in the fun.

  11. You certainly have most items under control. As I am from the East and unaccustomed to Californian customs or perhaps more casual approaches to Life Events, I am truly surprised by the choice of emailed wedding invitations. Double envelopes (only used for wedding invitations) make it abundantly clear whom is invited and if children are included. If there are guests who have significant others with whom they may not living with, an effort would generally be made to find out the full name of that person and in this case, a separate e-vite should be sent. Re: the white bobby pins: I visualize a disaster but congratulate you on your creativity. Many beautiful bobby pins with crystals at the ends can be found inexpensively at Amazon as “Add-On” to your order
    as well as the ribbon required for your dress. For shoes, check out Butter’s line of “Something Bleu” @ in Bethesda, MD. They are gorgeous, fit beautifully and are wonderful to work with. You’ll find their selection jaw-dropping and you won’t be spending gobs of $. A phone call is worth it. The water issue at the ceremony: you really should have some chilled water on hand for those who forget, become overwhelmed by the sun, may need to take medication because they don’t feel well. I have a tracheostomy and carry water most of the time; unless I’m running out the door–pushed by my super-punctual spouse. It’s generally a disaster if that happens. I generally put my cold drink (Gatorade if I’m headed for a sunny place) in a thermal Lilly Pulitzer container. You might consider thermal tumblers w/ your names & date on the inside of the tumbler / wet labels will fall off. These are made on premises by stationery or party ware shops carrying the Paparté line of custom items. Too many to mention. They are custom from the design inside on which the area in which names or date is imprinted & they use every ink color in the rainbow. I would suggest perhaps using the location with the date or maybe just a monogram or symbol to make the design timeless. Maybe you both adore the ocean, there might be waves in the design.
    If you need more ideas, check with back issues of DIY Weddings available through iTunes Apps. I know you will be a beautiful bride! I wish you a lifetime of happiness & good health!

    1. Thank you! A true extravagance, but I just couldn’t get her work out of my head.

  12. Oh my, what a lot of loveliness and visions of elegance this prompts! The tape dress is probably still my #1 choice, but the re-worked RK looks like it could be stunning as well. Loads of fabulous shoe choices, and any of the Hermès ties would look outstanding.

    This is going to be one classic, understated occasion, I am so very, very happy for you!

  13. I have only just had a wedding (we returned from the honeymoon yesterday) but seem not to have lost interest in other people’s weddings yet. You in Romona Keveza will be lovely. City Hall, erhu, Saipua flowers, etc., all lovely. Privacy muss sein, of course, but I hope you’ll share some photos when everything’s said and done.

  14. I love the Keveza for the big day. The Kane reminds me of one of your earlier posts, where you said that dressing too much on the edge after 50 would cause people to assume that you own an art gallery. Not that that is all bad, but still… I also think that the placement on the tape is rather awkward. Still if it makes you feel beautiful, don’t listen to the critics. Looking at old family photos has taught me to shy away from anything too trendy, but clearly many of your other readers also love the Kane and I expect that the joy of the day will make you radiant, no matter which you choose.

    1. “clearly many of your other readers also love the Kane”

      Don’t they? It’s almost unanimous! Which is why I’m hanging around here [sorry for the zillion page views LPC, but] so I can try and “understand” the CK dress.

      I KNOW if I keep reading, and if enough of these young women keep talking, I’ll begin to “get it.”

    2. So I was scratching my head over the Kane earlier today resulting in: Well, I just need to be a 20 years younger urban fashionista, that way the CK would make perfect sense. [Lame.] I challenged myself: look back in time, there will be an equivalent, think. PATCHWORK! It was the toast of the runway! I adored it, I bought it, I wore it. The grande dames shuddered, Why would you want to wear something so obviously butchered-then-reconstructed?

      I think I’m on to “getting it”…

    3. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be the Kane the night before, Keveza day of. Unless my alterations are less successful than I hope.

  15. Still like the CK dress it is the ‘so you’ I see from your photos.
    Love all the details you are sharing with us,can feel the buzz coming over the pond!

    Wish I could stroll by SF City hall one day in August.

  16. You got Sarah? All the florists in blogland are abuzz.

    We can rest assured your flowers will be as fabulous as the bride.

    xo Jane

  17. Much appreciation for the mention. Music so enriches our special ceremonies.

    We can see everything shaping up beautifully, with all signs indicating a most memorable day ahead for you and your beloved.

  18. This is so exciting!! I love your idea of wearing both dresses – why not!! I, too, am reading with a big smile on my face. ;-))

  19. SF City Hall is so full of joy now that everyone can marry again! I loved hanging out there recently with my wife on the first day marriage was legal again in California. Congrats and enjoy!!

    1. It made it so much better to be getting married now that everyone in California can do the same.

    1. Her white b/f wedding advice is awfully 1950s though, isn’t it? Let them imagine you in the white dress – sure, if you are a 20 year old virginal being being handed over. Adults may bend rules as they wish.

    2. Your guess is probably correct as to the day of coordinator:).

      And at my age, yes, I think there’s room to wear white whenever. Besides, it’s EVERYWHERE on the streets this year…

  20. Wow on the CK dress! It would be perfect with the Valentinos, alas. But you will find something equally perfect, with fewer poky studs. Your floor-length dress is lovely too–and since they’re two such different moods, I like your possibility of the CK at night and the gown for the ceremony.

  21. As much as I LOVE the CK dress (pleased as punch the NR has been eliminated) Holy Mackerel Andy, that RK293 is a stupendous garment! But will it be wearable for City Hall? How about the CK for the ceremony and the RK for the after-event? Is this dress over-kill? Nah ;)
    The bobby pin idea rocks. They come in silver too.

    1. San Francisco’s City Hall is very royal, marble everywhere. I’ve seen brides in long satin dresses there, midday. Very Carnival, in its way. And, of course, impunity:).

  22. Well, here I am again. Having been roundly rebuked for some honest commentary las time around, I am a little wary of offering an opinion, but as you are somewhat undecided I will brave it. (This is in keeping with my philosophy of shopping with friends: Be brutally honest in the dressing room, but hold your tongue when the purchase has been made.) Hence, like a previous commenter, I just “don’t get” the CK dress on a variety of levels. First and foremost, in the photo, it seems shapeless, and since, from previous photos I can see that you are NOT shapeless, I do not think that you would be doing yourself any favors with that cut. Secondly, it does not seem in keeping with your “Sturdy Gal” persona, being more bohemian, artsy and perhaps a little Trying Too Hard. Lastly, as I have already mentioned, and as another reader commented, I believe that the tapes are in places that may not warrant added attention- derriere and crotch to be so blunt. Please do feel quite free to “hide” or delete this post. In no way do I wish to lessen your pleasure in selecting a wedding dress, and as I have said before, if it makes YOU feel beautiful that is really all that is important. My remarks are the opinions of an innocent but interested bystander, and as you seem to have offered your selections for consideration I believe that you might be interested in hearing from both ends of the spectrum.

    1. No need to hide this. I am happy to hear everyone’s opinion. I feel I am among friends at this point.

  23. Oh the Ramona Kevesa is gorgeous. You can’t go wrong, there. Sounds like you have a beautiful wedding taking shape there.

  24. So so delighted for both of you and your family, Lisa. I remember how excited I was making all the plans for my 2nd wedding so I know how you are feeling. Love your outfit choices and the way you’ve changed the bridal dress. You will be radiantly beautiful!

  25. Lisa, put water bottles on tables if you feel like it and don’t listen to your sister! Many ladies with little clutches will leave their water at home, because it wont fit into the tiny clutch and they will love you for being so thoughtful. And yes you are thoughtful, so lets bring the thoughts into action.

    Wow, your daughter’s dress IS short. :-o It must be very, very hot in California, mid-August ;-)) You are a cool mum. No doubt!

    1. We’ve shifted dress strategy, since…And no, it’s apt to be COLD SF mid-August. Fog. Fog, fog, fog:).

  26. I feel supremely strange weighing in on someone elses’s wedding dress choice, but I just love the idea you would wear one the night before and the other the day of. I think you have put them in the right order, too. Each is splendid in its own way. My Priscilla of Boston dress 30 years ago fit me to a T, literally and figuratively, and expressed absolutely who I thought I was and, in retrospect, who I really was at that time. You have spoken so warmly of the Christopher Kane dress on your blog that I now completely associate it with you and your personal style. That, in my book, is what constitutes a perfect fit. Best wishes to you and your SO as the day draws near.

  27. You are making great progress with your wedding plans.
    Let’s see, I’ve booked the hotel and officiant, sent invitations by evite, and signed up for the license online….that’s about it and I’m getting married in 18 days. Yikes.
    Lisa, I wish that I had your organizational skills.

  28. My goodness – this is happening so quickly! I’m so used to young people with their long engagements that I hadn’t imagined that yours would happen so soon. My niece works in City Hall – perhaps she’ll see your wedding. May it be all that you hope for.

  29. Have a wonderful, wonderful day. I got married at City Hall last year and we were lucky enough to have the ceremony under the rotunda. It was so lovely, and we got an unexpected round of applause from guests gathering for the next wedding. Best wishes.

  30. I feel a little ashamed of myself. But at least I won’t make this mistake again. Is it related to the Shakespearean era English “I wot?”

  31. Lisa,
    Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I am just catching up on all the blogs I read because I got married in June (and with my wedding lists had to step away from the blogs). It’s so fun to come back here and hear about your wedding plans! I love the Romona dress, I thought I was looking for what I called dotted swiss for my wedding but ended up in the most beautiful lace I’d ever seen – doesn’t diminish my love for the subtle dots though! And I think you’ll look beautiful in it – surprising in all the best ways and it seems to make you happy. Best wishes on your wedding.


  32. I would love some information on how much lighting you need. Our tent company is providing lights that go around the perimeter of the tent. Is that enough light to get people through the tail end of dinner and into dancing?

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