Privilege Blog

Hunter S. Thompson Covers A Video Press Conference With Sodastream And Scarlett Johansson

Pretend I’m Hunter S. Thompson. Just for a minute. This will require pretending he writes a blog. Now pretend he is contacted and asked if he’d like to watch a live video of Sodastream announcing their new celebrity spokesperson, in return for which he will receive a Sodastream.

Pretend he wants to give it away to his readers. Humor me.

In that situation, he will have just found himself watching a live video stream. Humor me.

The cameras will be turned on, at first, so he can see the preparations. But he won’t hear anything. Then a guy with a mohawk will walk by. Clearly no one is thinking about the video stream.

Guy Working

A bunch of more guys with cameras will crowd in and start shooting. He won’t be able to see who it is. Hunter has limited patience.

Camera People Obviously Looking At Scarlett Who We Can't See

The cameras will swing around, and he will see a bar. With people in it. None of them famous. Hunter likes bars, so he waits. Besides, he’s been roaring with laughter ever since the mohawk. This is clearly random backstage goings on.

The Bar Where Scarlett Is, Ostensibly

Finally, the Sodastream CEO will stand up and introduce someone famous. It will be Scarlett Johansson. Hunter will think, “Oh god those cheekbones. I didn’t know she also had cheekbones…”

Scarlett Talking

He may make the inevitable bad joke about how her message won’t be Lost In Translation, although I advise against it. He will probably get a little giddy, because celebrities like that are in fact more beautiful than regular people, and she’s impossible to resist. Yes, even for Hunter.

Scarlett Looking At SodaStream CEO

Then the event will end. He will be left staring at your computer, thinking, “Who am I? What have I become?” If you’re really Hunter S. Thompson, you proceed to get wildly drunk. Carouse through Manhattan. But if you’re only a midlife style blogger, of course, you have a glass of aged cabernet on your sofa , and think about fizzy water, sodas made with juice, and the value of reusable bottles.

And if you’re me, you will feel the need to explain that your father has a Sodastream, and the glass bottles in which the soda water lives are things of beauty. You also will hope that your irreverent post still warrants the sending of the promised Sodastream that you plan to give away to your readers.

But in Hunter S. Thompson’s universe, nothing is certain.


No compensation except the hope of a Sodastream for you guys.

18 Responses

  1. And if we can resurrect him, why not make him blog? A fun post — and really? you saw her cheekbones up close? I’ve marvelled at her beauty, composure, and abilities since she first drew the public eye (well, I suspect she was drawing eyes from infancy, but you know what I mean) . . . she’s only a year younger than my son and when they were both high-school age, I found her mind-boggling. . .
    Do you think your recourse to Thompson’s perspective had to do with him sharing a first name with Scarlett’s twin brother?

  2. I saw her cheekbones over a live video stream:). I forgot her brother is named Hunter! It was destiny!

  3. I have such a love-hate relationship with Dr. Thompson, my fellow Kentuckian with whom I share so little (except our mutual love for the city of Louisville and the University of Kentucky’s basketball team…). A while ago, I wrote about how I wish I’d approached the opportunity to cover the Kentucky Derby for a local magazine with a little more Gonzo spirit:

    This is perhaps the most creative approach to product blogging I’ve ever encountered — certainly the most thought-provoking!

  4. Oh, I love this. I love pretending I have encounters with people I will never have.
    And, I’m also fascinated by the resurrection of Sodastream, an Israeli invention that was the high-tech version of the old Siphons, which my Dad used religiously, and would scare the hell out of me when they used to pop, and than Sodastream became very un-cool. And now it’s cool again, ha!

  5. Italian fruit sodas are too sweet for me, it’d be nice to make some where I got to pick how sweet the flavor was.

  6. I’m Jewish and love seltzer, it’s like in our DNA. Thus I would like a Sodastream.

    Does leaving any comment (like this one) mean I could be considered for winning one? If Hunter’s, I mean your, post warrants an actual Sodastream?

    1. I will run another post with giveaway details, for your comments, once I have confirmation that I didn’t send the sponsor packing with my cheek. (British meaning) So, if it happens, what would the story-telling theme be in this case. Ha!

  7. Brilliant!
    I actually don’t like most “still” drinks and I have always wondered if you could carbonate chilled coffee. Would someone with one of these try it and tell me? ;)

  8. I have fond soda stream memories as a child- when they had the glass bottles. We’ve just invested in one now. Genius. Soda bottles are so heavy and inconvenient to take home. Now it’s soda on tap.

  9. What a clever post! And I love the soda stream idea. I think it is such a terrific way to cut down on bottle waste. As a girl who drinks a LOT of seltzer and sparkling water every day, it is definitely the way to go!

  10. I was so enthralled by the whole scenario, it wasn’t till I finished reading that I realized I got a Sodastream for Christmas and have no need for another.

    It took me a few tries to get it carbonated properly,not the fault of the machine, just by fear of C2O.

    All is well now and I’m not wasting plastic or glass bottles, plus don’t have to drag home 7 bottles a week with a damaged shoulder. Win-win.

    Speaking of shoulders…..?

    xo J

  11. Interesting! Scarlet is unreasonably beautiful but it sounds like someone or someone’s really weren’t doing their job particularly well. Oh well, it adds to the fun, I guess.

    PS – a child of my friend calls bubbly water made with a Soda Stream ‘pointy water’.

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