As I’ve said, in two months, give or take a day, I’ll turn 70. I feel like I’ve been the same age since I turned 35, maybe 40, and now, surprisingly, whole new age!
Not to sound preposterous, but I find myself wanting a new conceptual model of self in addition to new shoes. Who am I really, now that my knuckles are wider than my fingers? Gray hair, wrinkles, jowls, various tendon issues, somehow all of that felt like it was happening to the self in the mirror, not the one here, on the sofa. I think now the little spark of consciousness behind my eyes is having to adjust. Feels a bit fidgety, TBH.
I don’t feel sad, at least not yet. Were I to give voice to my reaction, which, obviously, yes, it’s a great big, “Huh.” I’m reading Honest Aging, by Rosemary Leipzig, as Kristin recommended, and thinking. Thanks, Kristin.
So much thinking.
But before we launch into a full post, or several, I wanted to hear from you. As many have pointed out, readers’ thoughtful (funny, iconoclastic) comments are one of this old blog’s best features, and it would make no sense to write at any length without your input. So.
- Did/does 70 feel significant? Or just another decade passing by?
- Did/will you take stock? If so, of what?
- Have you made any proactive changes as a result of thinking about it all? Or only in response to events and changes as they occurred – health, life, and so on?
I imagine you can think of questions of your own. Feel free to ask them. Or answer those unasked, for that matter.
Have an excellent weekend. Happy birthday to anyone who needs it.
52 Responses
I turned 70 in Covid when things were just shutting down. So I had more important things to worry about. Any decade change is notable, though – just ask my 10- year old grandson. (Maybe not 20, because 21 is the more significant number). Since we made big changes in our lives in the last few years I guess it’s at least partly attributable to that big number. But Covid was as much or more of an impetus – it made the reality of mortality all too apparent. It doesn’t hurt to think how you want to live this next-to-last chapter of your life.
Certainly you had more important things to worry about. COVID was so all-consuming in that first year. But congratulations to your grandson! Double digits! As you put it, thinking about this next-to-last chapter, especially as there’s no way to know how long it will be, can’t hurt if that’s the way one has always approached complex situations.
Happy almost 70th birthday, Lisa. I turned 70 in May. And whereas fifty was just a blip, sixty was no biggie, seventy feels different. In a lot of ways.
As I said to my walking buddies, one of whom is 75, while the other two are in their sixties… seventy feels different. For instance, my boobs just sagged. Seriously. Like one morning I woke up and they’d just sagged. My silver white hair no longer feels edgy. Just … expected. Sixty seems cool. Seventy seems… not cool. I know this is all shallow stuff. But it’s what has been on my mind since I turned seventy.
And then there’s the image of seventy that I see and read about. In particular in novels, where a character in a book I read recently commented on another character: “She’s seventy years old and still living on her own.” I remember expostulating when I read that. Oh, my god! My mum was still living on her own at ninety. Aren’t fiction writers supposed to be all about research, about observing the world, and then reflecting real life in their work? Some of my friends say this phenomenon is because the writers are so young. But, to me, that’s no excuse.
So far I haven’t been taking any action or making any changes. I’m just observing the bodily changes and, like you, saying, “Hmmm.” Still wearing my jeans. Not cutting back on travel or changing up my workouts. Maybe I should be adding more strength training. Maybe when we get back from Spain in the fall.
And I’ve been resisting the change that society seems to require. Particularly the perfectly young, but frozen face. Still using lots of good skincare though. But no interventions. I want my nieces and great-nieces to think of aging as just another part of the journey and not something to be feared.
This is a very long comment. And very disjointed. But that’s not about being seventy. My students always told me I talked a lot and could never stay on topic. Ha.
Happy to be still reading you on Saturday afternoon after all these years. xox
My mom lived on her own and was still driving until she died at 91! I have noticed that books often portray that it’s amazing for people to be fully functional even over 60! Yikes!
Marla, yes, that is an artifact of what, that old age used to be less healthy? Or as someone says that so many books are written by the young?
Happy belated birthday, Sue! I think I gave my felicitations at the time, but it never hurts to repeat. I complete agree about the sagging and the gray (in my case white) hair. So funny the way keeping the gray at 50 feels edgy, a sign of being young at heart, and at some invisible switch point it becomes a sign of maybe being older than one’s actual age. For me, it was realizing I had incipient tailor’s bunions. I can barely stand to write the word! These are not my beautiful feet is David Byrne might say, this is not my whatever;). This isn’t shallow stuff, because it’s very much how we feel in our bodies and as we roam around the world in other’s eyes. How we hold the concept of what we look like, I think is very much related to who we are now deciding we are. How are we the same if we look so different? It’s kind of a choice, IMO. And I am grateful you’re still here reading, and writing.
I’ll be 82 in September and to tell the truth I have to think about it when I have to fill something out. I’m now the oldest on both sides of my family. Despite various issues and facing a knee replacement I am truly lucky for good health. My mother always said we were “healthy peasant stock” and I guess that’s part of it. We redid our wills, trusts, etc. a while ago because we were concerned about what happens if you’re incapacitated but not dead. I do think about death and also all the stuff in the attic. I’m a big reader and that can get you through a lot. And I’ve continued to make friends.
I love that your actual age isn’t in the forefront of your mind. Perhaps that will be one of my goals, to do the thinking and then put it all aside. Reading, and I am so encouraged that you’ve continued to make friends. That is 100% one of my goals. Any tips?
I live close to my town’s pool and 5 or so years ago because my best friend in another town (sorority sisters since 1964) loved it I started water aerobics (it’s really called water boot camp!). Seniors and residents get a big cost reduction too. Some women have been doing this for 20+ years, and it’s soup to nuts, every background and life experience. My closest and I have supported each other through my partner’s and her husband’s cancer. Such a lucky bit of karma.
I’m 66 so no comment on 70 as I’m not there yet!I just turned 66 and found it to be an odd feeling!I still feel young in my head and heart but the body is changing now and I can tell you I am NOT AMUSED!
Happy Healthy year ahead!You will do fine.
Thank you ma’am! And I hope that body gets its ducks in a row and starts behaving!
I turned 70 in 2025. I feel the same as I always have (maybe at 45? I dunno) but probably have slowed down in some ways I don’t notice. I’m in excellent health except for a knee that has been bothering me off and on for a year or two but it’s minor. A few things I’m doing more of that I should have been doing all along are keeping processed foods to a minimum, making sure I get plenty of movement and avoiding unnecessary stress. I AM aware that time is short and I don’t waste time on things that don’t matter as best as I can. I do think this is an age where the difference between a “young” 70 and an “old” 70 starts to show and I’m grateful that I can still do everything that I’ve always done and want to do without any issue. I come from a long line of daily gardeners and credit that constant activity with keeping my mom and other female relatives in excellent shape well into their 90’s and believe it keeps the body strong, joints oiled and heart happy. I also volunteer in a community pet pantry where I regularly lift and carry bags of dog food up to 50 pounds and like gardening, it seems fun.
I am so happy to hear you’re in excellent health, and that the knee is a bother but not serious. I was particularly struck by one line in your comment, as it gave me some clarity on why I am feeling this way. You said, “I’m grateful that I can still do everything that I’ve always done and want to do without any issue.” I can also, at this point, still do everything I’ve always done, albeit with more aches, and I’m also really happy about that. Should definitely work on gratitude. What’s harder now is doing something I have never done before. That trip to the High Sierra, it turns out, left me with a case of altitude sickness. I thought it was heat exhaustion, but I decided to have a doctor check me out and it was the altitude. I used to have what felt like an inexhaustible capacity to know what risks to take, to explore and try new things. That, that exactly is what feels like it’s changed. As an impulsive person, one who loves novelty, this changes how I think I’ll have to move through the world now. Thank you so much for your thoughts, and hooray for gardening and heavy lifting.
I turned 70 in 2024. First I am happy to have lived long enough to collect Social Security and have a working Medicare card, as so many of my friends did not. I am also more conscious of the fact that I have lived three more years than my maternal grandmother got to be and am doing my best to stay healthy. I did think that by now I would actually have “retired” but I’m still working at my home based crafts business that I started when my children were babies and doing other creative things including to my joy dressmaking for my little granddaughter. I mean the medical condition that makes her tiny is hard but the ability to dress her in age appropriate clothing using sewing skills I learned from my mother and grandmothers is just a treat.
Isn’t Social Security awesome! I haven’t taken up Medicare yet, as my husband is still working, but I was so impressed with it when I had my mother’s health care power of attorney. I am inspired by the way your maternal line is shaping your experience in these years, in terms of an awareness of mortality, the grace of health, and also these passed-down skills. I hope your tiny granddaughter is OK.
I just turned 75 and this decade has been different. I feel good but not quite like ten years ago. There are now big variations in physical and sometimes cognitive health among our age cohort and that colors my experience of my age. My oldest and best friend is in assisted living after a stroke at 73. A college classmate is still winning masters swim races and working on a mountain rescue team. A third, who had a brilliant legal career, has been diagnosed with the onset of dementia (via the new blood test which gives upsetting results very early). Another 75 year old friend just had her first gallery show. Cancer, illness, and occasionally death show up among my 70-something friends, siblings, and cousins—but so do remarkable energy, some new accomplishments, and love. It’s kind of strange. I’m enjoying good health but spending a lot of time in PT to maintain body parts that used to just operate without my attention. (Can only laugh.) I’m invigorated by our move to a new region, appreciate having time to pursue my interests, and love being near family and grandchildren. My vivid sense of mortality makes a good attitude easier for me. I’m happy and full of gratitude at 75. Except for my sorrow and anxiety about our country. Welcome to your 70’s.
Thank you:). As Marla said, to your point, it makes sense that this is a point where a healthy 70 and an ailing 70 may start to diverge. I am sorry some of your friends are on the ailing track. Glad you have moved closer to family and grandchildren – I can imagine that could be part of a whole new lease on life. “My vivid sense of mortality makes a good attitude easier for me.” This is what I’m looking to build out. I feel I have the kernel, the profound gratitude at even having gotten to have a life, now what changes in assumptions do I need to make to keep it in place as the natural endorphins of youth and strength begin to take their leave.
I found my 70s to be great. Still had plenty of energy for travel and interested in everything. Make the most of this decade. Now near my mid 80s there are definitely changes in my energy and various physical issues are making themselves known. So maybe not so much travel now, and more appreciating what’s closer to home and less demanding of exertion. I’m so thankful for all the ways there are these days to stay in touch with family and old friends, even when they are far away or overseas. And there is so much available online to keep one’s mind busy. Everything you might want to know about is a click away. And always, of course, books, for both reading and listening. We are blessed with options.
We are blessed with options indeed. I resolve to make the best of this decade. Moar camping! Perhaps with time to acclimate if I go above 7000 feet;). New cities! New friends! And with any luck a new direction for the country!
Seventy was a great birthday! A new decade. Being 69 sounded old, the end of a decade, but now I can say “I’m in my seventies!” and feel so young. Better to be a young 70 than an old 60. I have acquired a thyroid issue and an autoimmune thing this past year which sucks but … yoga, volunteering, playing with the grandbaby are all keeping me moving.
Enjoy.
I used to work at a cardiology office in Colorado. One of my patients came in ..easily in his 80s..and I said “Hi!” And he said “No, not yet.” I think keeping a sense of humor keeps you young.
Absolutely concur about the sense of humor. And you know what? I have been looking forward to this birthday for the same reason. Kind of like, phew, I can admit to being old now. I can feel like I’m doing a good job, with this lifestyle, rather than a slacker;). Sorry about the thyroid and autoimmune issues. I hope they stay manageable and that you will keep up your activities, especially that grandbaby.
I turn 70 next month. It’s a big deal, but not a bad deal. My not-too-far-in-the-distance mortality is a practice in contemplation.
A big deal but not a bad one! Yes! I find myself more contemplative – others here say the same.
“So much thinking.”
Agree. Sooo much thinking.
Doing my best not to fall into the thought spiral though:)
Alas, I failed to answer your opening question. Yes turning 70 is a VERY BIG deal. You made it [many didn’t]! You’re healthy [many aren’t]! You’re inspiring: you’re dedicated to, and active in, several huge causes that serve your community, your country and your family. Fingers crossed that you and your beloved have a fabulous trip/event inked on your calendar for the precise reason that YOU are here with us at age 70. Cheers!
Thank you all from this 63-year-old, you’re showing me how to do this! A scary ER visit at 61 shook me enough to start no-joke-every-day PT. Gradually adding in strength and balance exercises — my mother died at 90 after a fall. Wrestling with sleep issues and emotional eating, but the other work will help me claw my way through.
Mortality is hopefully years or decades away. I have a lot of “too late but still matters” left in my life and family. Ultimately it’s a bouquet of gorgeous cut flowers: not lasting nearly long enough, but a breathtaking gift.
Happy, happy 70th, Lisa. You’re already wearing it beautifully.
Every day PT sounds like a blessing in disguise, although I am sorry for the scare. I have kept doing the PT exercises I learned from my achilles injury when I need to bounce back from something. Here’s to all the too late but still matters things in life. A bouquet of cut flowers is a wonderful metaphor. What a gift is being alive. I wish you all the best with sleep and emotional eating, neither one of those issues is simple to adjust. Thank you so much for the happy wishes.
I wouldn’t know anything about turning 70 yet, but I treasure all of you and your wonderful advice. When the time comes, I hope I’ll face it with as much intelligence and self-love.
I’ve for some reason (probably the unbearable heat) decided to rebel against the impending 43 by wearing short dresses this summer — not indecent, but you know. Lisa, I keep remembering your post about the little black dress you wore on your 40th birthday. IMHO 70 sounds like a perfect birthday for a cute new dress (breezy linen in this hot weather instead of wool)!
Have a fantastic weekend. Treat yourself well — body, mind and heart.
Short dresses! Short dresses! Sounds awesome at 43. Thank you for remembering my old posts. I send you the same sentiment – treat yourself well. You’re a gift.
I turned 70 in December, retired from a very demanding job the same month, and have had 2 close friends, a cousin, and a brother-in-law die in the last six months. All were around my age. I’m shell shocked. My parents are both alive and active in their 90s, but need more support, and the next decade is likely to be dominated by caring for them. I’m feeling that life has changed in significant ways. My husband and I have our 50th wedding anniversary in September so it’s a big year. Our relationship remains a joyful, passionate partnership and I am grateful for it. For me, 70 has turned out to be momentous because so much in my life has shifted quickly at this point, and so many life markers are part of this year. It isn’t my body aging… although I experienced the overnight boob drop described by Sue! It’s so much change and realizing that grief will be constant factor in the decades to come.
I have read this more than once. I can imagine, and hope, that your relationship with your husband is a bulwark given what you’ve faced in these past months, and the road ahead of you with your parents. Joyful and passionate sounds wonderful. This aging business, a gift as others have said, also characterized by SBD and grief as a new companion. Being human is astonishing. Congratulations on your retirement, and I hope you can reap the rewards of what I am guessing has been hard work.
I’m really glad to be reading these responses from your readers. It seems to me there is a lot of material here for future musings that you could write about.
Thank you so much, Lisa.
Oh, gosh, I thank the readers! I knew they’d offer a lot, and it’s been more than I could have asked for. And you’re welcome:)
One of us turned 75 this past week, and I’m only two years behind him. We’re both still, fortunately, fit and active, but something has definitely shifted, is shifting, since the onset of this 8th decade. For me, what’s been settling in over the last while is that my own perception of myself has been bumping into the perception of Me As a 70-Something in others’ eyes (especially the eyes of those who don’t yet know me). And as those two perceptions bump into each other, the exterior one is mucking with my own sense of self, if that makes sense. I can reinforce my own, but it’s ragging around the edges just a bit as I contend with how I’m perceived. Still articulating this for myself, not sure my attempt here makes sense.
Plus the reality (never mind other people’s perception) that the two of us are inexorably drawing closer to Big Loss and also to the possibility of dependency that we’re not likely to enjoy.
There’s also good stuff daily and much gratitude. Oh, and I’m very very wise now, at 73. ;-)
Frances, have I ever told you how much I love your sense of humor? If not, I do. And your wisdom;). I have a feeling for what you mean about the way the perception of 70 year olds bumps into how we feel in our own 70 year old selves. I can only hope that our numbers, our changed experience of being 70, starts to have an impact on and be absorbed by, those who perceive us.
As for Big Loss, and dependency, yes. I just want to have a vision of how it might play out, even if that vision proves wrong and and needs, well, REvision:).
I don’t think I’ve expressed my thanks to you lately, Lisa. Your blog, always there to greet us Saturday mornings. Always something to think about, usually a couple of words to send me to the dictionary, your Commenters always especially quick and able to express ideas succinctly. Did I spell that right?
I barely remember passing 70, but I’m tightly focused on crossing 80 the end of this year. I haven’t put thoughts/goals/hopes together on this milestone birthday, but I think there’s information in the fact that I still use the photo of myself taken in the prime of my 50s for social media. Hm.
Again, thank you for this conversation you give us every week!
I wish you all the best for your 80s! And you are an extraordinary thank you-er. Please never feel you haven’t expressed your thanks, as you have, and I am thankful in return.
Following in your (sensibly shod) footsteps in a few months! Our generation has done things our own way all along and I expect that to continue. I’m going to be “me” until I cannot be any longer, I spent a lot of time getting here. Looking forward to the adventures and realities to come.
Fellow traveller;). We have been forging paths since birth, so true. I love this, “I spent a lot of time getting here.” I mean, yeah. What an investment of time we’ve made. Adventures and realities both are extraordinary.
70 is a big number, and it hit me hard. It felt “old” in a way that 50 and 60 did not. Not sure why, but I was very concerned about suddenly being 70. I was probably too busy to think about it ahead of time, so it’s good that you are preparing. However, now that I’ll be 72 next month, I’m okay with it. I have come to realize you can’t fight the calendar. But the changes are real, especially the stiff joints. I have made significant changes for my health, and that is the good thing about being 70. I had to have minor knee surgery a year ago, and that lead to finding out that my heart isn’t in the best of shape, my cholesterol needed to be lowered, and my blood pressure was a bit too high. I now go to the gym 3 times a week, take some meds, have lost about 10 pounds since last year, and I feel better than I did when I wasn’t at all concerned about being 50 or 60. Learning to accept these changes and willingly work toward making more changes has helped to realize these are my best years. I tell everyone at this age who will listen that now is the time to take control of your health.
Nice work! What a great way to deal with bad health news. I agree, it’s about accepting the changes but at the same time making other changes that might get you on sounder footing for this next decade. I am heartened by your feeling that these are your best years, stiff joints and all.
Early welcome to a new member of the Septuagenarian Club!
All members of our club are extremely resilient, have a hilariously great sense of humor, go camping as often as possible and try to love everybody. Good luck with that one :))
My current biggest challenge is maintaining equilibrium while doing cataract surgeries, (my second eye is tomorrow) while dealing with a sick dog and a husband with bvFTD. It’s a lot, a LOT a lot, but you carry on as best you can. We are very lucky to still be on this side of the grass. Sending metta to all, xoxoxoxox
It is clearly the best club of all. Thank you! Touching grass as often as I can.
It seems that no matter what decade I’m in, aging comes in years-long plateaus, or maybe “troughs” would be a more accurate term. Things do not rapidly change during that time and I start feeling rather cocky about my state of being I crossed over from late 60’s to early 70’s in one of those plateaus, so I didn’t pay much attention to 70 itself. Then of course it is inevitable that things become noticeably crepey-er or quads are not springing off the floor like they did even a year ago. These plateaus (that term seems more positive) give me a gentle chance to come to terms with the progression with no numbers attached. I’m really glad that I still believe I’m 30 in my mind, and still have shiny hair. I thank Griffin Remedy for that. :)
I agree. It’s absolutely plateaus and then a sudden bump. I think I compared the process once to bumping downstairs and stopping at landings:). I will look up your hair suggestion, thanks!
Turning 70 felt very significant to me. I can no longer think that I am middle-aged. Now I think I am young-old. The challenge with that is that middle-old follows very quickly. Time has become compressed, the clock is ticking faster and there is so little time left – – that is how 70 feels to me. Not that it is a sad thing; maybe just sobering. I do feel a greater sense of urgency to do that which I want/like to do. No messing around; less wasting of time. Let’s get to it in terms of being with the people I love. It sounds maudlin, except that I don’t think it is, but now when I visit my children and grandchild I think not just of current happiness, but that I am making memories for them to have of me after I leave this world, whenever that shall be. So, yes, 70 is significant.
I wrote a book. ‘Woman at 70: Observations of a time in life.’ by Maire E. Riordan, available on Amazon. I wrote it for several reasons – to take stock of my life, to balance out the sanitized versions of life we see too frequently in social media, and to honor the breadth, width, and depth of life that most women have lived by the time we reach 70. (I used a pseudonym because the stories are mine and I do not want them to reflect on others in this time of easily identifiable familial connections.)
It is important to honor 70 – I visited everyone who matters to me throughout the year I turned 70 (last year) – to thank them for having shared this glorious ride with me. Onward we go!
Ah, I will read your book! Onward we go. Yes, exactly, no longer middle-aged, young-old for some unpredictable slice of time. Must appreciate it, must face it, both.
I’m 75 now and, fortunately, still quite healthy. There are some big differences compared to 8 years ago. Some are real, and some have to do with perception. For example, I’ve always slipped on the ice and fallen about once a year, and never worried about it. I remember this happening when I was 68. Once I turned 70, though, and read the statistics on mortality after a broken hip, I stopped walking when there is ice on the ground. I might be fine after a fall; my bone density is good and my balance is good, but fear now keeps me cooped up sometimes in the winter. At 67 I moved cities after a divorce, and didn’t find it that difficult, even though it involved two rentals before I found a house. Now I’m hoping to move cross-country, and I feel afraid and not up to the challenges. Decisions are hard; I “should” move into a senior living community, but I want to have my own house and be independent. So I feel that I’m gambling on continued good health if I choose independence.
One very good thing I did was to start working with a personal trainer when I turned 75. I’ve become much stronger and more fit in the 18 months since then – stairs and uphill slopes are easy, I can put my suitcase in the overhead rack easily. I’ve always been active but weight training has made a huge difference.
I echo Flo’s comments about being grateful for this blog and for the comments. I’ve been reading for some time but I think this is the first time I’ve posted.
Whoops! I’m 76.
I love this:)
You are very, very welcome, both in the meaning of an appreciation of your thanks, and in the meaning of “Hello! Nice to see you here!” An assessment of risk is one of the biggest changes in my sense of self – what adventures remain possible? And moving is hard! It is challenging. In terms of where to live, many of us will face the same question, and with any lucky we can talk about it here.